Blessed by my Big Kids!

Jaron just got done taking the trash downstairs to the trashcans and then he rolled both trash cans down to the curb! This is his job and he does it with his whole self! Full of gusto and life! Thanks buddy for helping out mom and dad this way!

Janea is right now sorting the laundry for me and starting a load of darks with her dad's pants in it while I am cooking dinner...she knows how to do it...and she's hungry for dinner! Thanks Janea for being such a mature young woman and so capable! You made my afternoon easier!

I love how the lessons we have taught them are starting to pay off in dividends.

Creating a New Normal

I resigned last week effective Friday.

Baby J and working are not a good combo right now. The tables kept getting lower, the kids kept getting louder, the contractions and pains wouldn't stop so I resigned 2 weeks before the time I was going to.

It was a good thing...my health and Baby J's health are more important than any job and my job as wife and mother are also more important than being a teacher.

So now I get to learn how to be a SAHM. I get to figure out how to fill my time before baby comes. I know that once baby is here I will have plenty to do and then the big kids will be out of school before we know it and then we will have to learn again.

It's weird. Yet it's also nice. I really didn't sleep well. I kept dreaming that I was on this rollercoaster and I literally was getting dizzy and felt like the bed was spinning. Turns out I was really hungry...hadn't eaten a lot of dinner and the orange I had at bedtime wasn't cutting it anymore! So I got up around 4 to have a snack...and then it was time to get the family off to work and school...Dan's starting to brownbag it again to save money and I needed to help him get his lunch together. So by the time I got Jaron to school and got home again I was pretty tired...so I ate breakfast(toast and oatmeal) and then I took a nap. And I feel much better.

So today I have napped, eaten, worked some on our taxes...Federal are completely done and I am working on the state ones...grrr...taxes...done some additional research on carseats and pricing and taken a shower. I also plan on working on the laundry and getting the kitchen more organized...but I may work on that tomorrow! I'll have time...I don't have a job anymore!

Resting

So Saturday night I came down with the flu.

It's been a doozy of a couple of days. I have felt terrible, horrible, no good, very bad. We didn't make it to church on Sunday and by Sunday night I seriously was concerned as I was having bad pain in the upper right side of my uterus. Plus, Baby J was kicking there a lot and the discomfort was unbearable...so I called the nurse hotline and was advised to go in if the pain continued. Well, changing positions helped alot and by the time I went to bed the pain had subsided enough to sleep.

Monday I had a Doctor's appointment and described my symptoms. The doctors did a protein swab test to see if I am at risk for preterm labor and an internal exam and so far the contractions I have off and on are not causing baby J to come...no dilation or thinning of the cervix(sorry if to much TMI). He did prescribe a muscle relaxant and recommended that I take it easy and be on bedrest as much as possible. However, I can be up some, and I can still drive so it's not total bedrest. I have a pulled muscle from coughing and it's causing contractions

Today I spent sleeping...and resting....for like the whole day. If I could just stop coughing I think I would feel better. So I am resting...resting, resting...and while I am starting to feel better I am also just a tiny bit bored with the whole thing....I've wanted to get to rest and now that I am here and I am wanting to do something else...oh the fickleness of life!

My feet

I'm looking forward to seeing my feet again.

I'm looking forward to not being a contortionist to get my socks on!

I'm looking forward to being able to easily clip my toenails and put on nail polish again.

I'm looking forward to wearing shoes that tie!

I''m looking forward to them not hurting as much!

I miss my feet...only 9 more weeks till I see them...hopefully less!

Step by Step

Step by step I'm getting closer to the finish line at work.

I have 3 weeks and a day left.

My belly feels like it gets bigger everyday.

The tables and chair feel like they are getting lower everyday.

The hours while constant seem to get longer everyday.

I truly think that the kids in my class are getting crazier everyday.

I'm ready to not worry about work for awhile.

I'm ready to be able to take a nap when the urge hits me.

I'm ready to get ready for baby.

Step by Step we're approaching the finish line...and the starting point of the next great adventure!

A Cloud

I looked out the window this morning and realized it was foggy.

It's like we live in a cloud.

The neighborhood trees are hard to see.

The ground is disguised by a white haze.

It's really cool...Weather is truly amazing and never boring...even if I don't always like the cold and snow!

I'm thankful that God made weather and the complexities of it...and I apprecitate it so much more when I'm not stressed out by it!

Better Double Check

ME: Jaron got your shoes on?

Jaron: Check

Me: Got your backpack with purple folder, lunch and library books?

Jaron: Check

Me: Got your coat on?

Jaron: Check

Me: Bubbe...better go and check your pants...

Jaron: Why?

Me: Look down...I think your pockets are in the wrong place!

Jaron: (Looking down, seeing pants on backwards...)Now how did that Happen?

Me: HAHAHHAHAHAHa....aren't you glad I had you double check.

Jaron: hahahahahaha.....Mommmmm...thanks mom I love you....

And that's this morning at our house...hope you put your pants on the right way!

Registered

I went to 2 different Targets today to work on Baby J's registry.

Our local Targets system was down so then I drove over to the one on State Line and 135th. I had to get a few things at Target though so we did that at our local before heading to the other. Jaron needed new pants and new shoes and then they had these nice shirts for a nice price so I got him one of those too.

Janea got chocolate and Dan got glue...I got nothing but that's okay.

So we are registered for things we may need for the baby. I chose Target because it's pretty nationwide and reasonably priced. It's weird to be looking for things for a baby again.

Countdown

Yesterday I moved into the 30 weeks of my pregnancy...so that means I have 10 or less weeks to go until Baby J is here....scary and exciting all at the same time...we have so much to do before he gets here and now we only have a short time to get it all done.

Today is Friday and once I leave work today I will only have 4 more weeks at my job...then I will be unemployed(again). However, this time it's our choice to not have me work and since I don't feel like my current job is a great fit I truly won't be overly sad about leaving. I will miss some of the kids and I will miss some of my coworkers but I won't miss the crazy hours or the stress of snow days, sick kids or the like. They sent out a letter on Wednesday about me leaving and most of the parents took it really well, but one is like dumbfounded that I won't be coming back after 4-6 weeks. I don't get these people sometimes.

The weather is warming up and we're in the countdown for Spring. I really didn't expect to have the winter that we have had this year...it's been insane in January and February..so much snow! The kids have had maybe one full week of school this semester...Trying to juggle work schedules, snowdays and the like has been HARD...and STRESSFUL. In 4 weeks whatever happens I will be home and able to take care of it. Until I go to the hospital to have the baby then we will add newborn stress to life...but newborns will grow up and we will just need to get a new schedule in place!

I was really upset yesterday about the snow...tears and the like...my mom is such a blessing and not only helped me to calm down but also helped me to evaluate what it is that I am truly uspet about that is making the snow days that much harder. She thought is was Fear and Anger...and she is right. I am afraid of losing my job earlier than I planned because I am afraid for how we will make it once I am not working. I am putting money aside to use when I am not working and I am afraid that if we don't have that then things will be extra hard. However, I am not TRUSTING that God can meet my every need. He says that HE will do that...but I am so fearful that I am forgetting. I'm also afraid because I was not thinking of having anymore kids. Here we are 10 weeks away from having a BABY in the house...that's scary...I'm afraid I can't do it anymore. It's terrifying in someways. I also have ANGER...I'm angry that the school I taught at last year is closed. I loved teaching there and was passionate about my work and that was taken from me, not of my choosing but someone elses. I know that God works things out and that it was a good thing to close due to situations that are coming to light now but I am still ANGRY at the selfish people who made that choice that I felt was unfair. I'm struggling through it but I see the light at the end of the tunnel...it's there...God is in Control and He will do what HE will do. Thanks Mom for making me do some Soul searching over the last day or so...I slept better than I have in awhile and I think it's because I let go of some of my Fear...felt good too!

So that's my thinking in a nutshell...this post kinda got away from me and if you made it through my ramblings and hodgepodge of thinking great. It feels good though to see it and express it in written form though...so here's to the next 4 weeks at work and the next 10 weeks(hoping for 8) before little Baby J comes!

Thanks Mom

My mom is my hero this morning!

The kids school got cancelled again and I got stressed out by it all again and I called her in an upset panic. She not only listens to me when I cry but she also is taking time off work to watch the kids until my babysitter is available.

I love my mom!

Thanks Mom for all you do for me...even now that I am a big crybaby grownup!

Registering

So I am trying to register for Baby J.

My friends at church are being generous and hosting a shower for me. The only problem is I don't know what to register for.

There are so many choices and when you try and do it online you don't know a store item from a online item and wow I spent over an hour today and maybe registered for like 10 thing...most of them baby towels...those I know I'll need!

So I have posted for help on Facebook and now I'm posting for help here...what types of things do I need.

I have:
pack and play
swing
bedding set
some flannel receiving blankets
some diapers and wipes
working on carseat...trying to get a really good deal from Diapers.com

I know I will need more diapers, wipes and the like...pretty familiar with brands too since I work in childcare...but I need ideas for other things I may need. I'm really out of touch with the baby side of things and I get really overwhelmed.

Thanks for the input...I can really use it!

Love is...

Taking turns sleeping in the uncomfortable spot so your spouse gets a decent night sleep.

Putting dinner in the oven so that we eat earlier.

Making sure your spouse has nice clean clothes for work.

Being aware of the emotional needs of the other even if it seems irrational to you.

Driving to the ghetto to find that deal that you have researched online...when you don't really want to.

Harder sometimes to fathom and easier other times to express

Fingers and Toes

So our little one is all fingers and toes...or knees and elbows.

His favorite spot right now is right behind my belly button and the upper part of my stomach.

Boy is he strong!

My stomach is feeling super tight right now....it's such a weird feeling!

Emotions

My emotions have been running crazy over the last few days.

Emotions are a hard thing to understand. It's amazing to me to see how little things can make you an emotional basket case.

Case in point...I've been feeling stressed and overwhelmed with the reality that in 11 weeks or less we will have a baby in this house. I'll be a SAHM of 3 kids, and life will be totally different. I'm also really unprepared to have this baby in the house...we are nowhere ready and I think...how is this going to happen. So I have been stressing. Makes one tired to stress and yet I have been stressing about it. Mostly I've been stressing about where the baby will sleep and how we will be able to bring him home.

Last night we went out and got one thing that will help to alleviate my stress. We now have a pack and play complete with bassinet, changing station and storage area. This is a load off because now the baby has someplace to sleep when he comes home. I also have found a way to get a good deal on a carseat so that is a relief as well, we will be able to bring him home.

Another thing wreaking havoc on my emotions is how I feel physically. Today I was EXTREMELY TIRED! I went to bed normal time and as usual had some trouble falling asleep and then got up to use the restroom more times than I would have liked. When I was really sleeping well around maybe 1;00am I think Dan had a nightmare or something because he ended up pushing me almost off the bed waking me up...and then I couldn't fall back asleep because I was hungry. I got up and got something to eat but I made a not smart choice and ended up with heartburn and so I couldn't fall asleep until 5:30 andthen I woke up at 7 when the kiddos got up...I had moved to the couch. SO I was tired, and very weepy today. Dan was gracious and gave me space to take a nap and it was so good...and I think I will try and go to bed early tonight so that I can rest.

I'm hoping for a less emotional week. It's hard with all these extra hormones from being pregnant but I have to make it through. Some good countdowns...11 weeks until my due date and 5 weeks until I get to "retire" for awhile.

What a Week!

In case you live under a rock or in a Sunny warm area where snow is a non issue let me tell you...I just lived through my second blizzard! The weather this week has been interesting to say the least and I am so looking forward to Spring...here's a look at our week.

MONDAY:
I took the kiddos to school...there was some slight freezing drizzle, the roads weren't bad but there were slick spots so you had to be careful. I came home and did a few things since I wasn't going into work until later due to an OB appointment for my 28th week of pregnancy. Dan made it to work with no problems and all in all it was a normal day for us. I get to the doctor, get all the stuff done that I need to do and have my glucose test....hate the stuff they make you drink for this test...ick! My doctor says something about making sure I'm careful and everything and that I should probably just stay home since there is a 100% chance of snow for the next day and a blizzard warning. Well, I spoke up and said that it would help if I had a doctor's note excusing me from work since pregnancy and driving are not the best combo and my company would be more understanding if I had doctor's recommendation to stay home...and he wrote it. The kids ended up with a early dismissal and then Dan worked later than normal...let me just say that our Babysitter in the afternoon is totally awesome! I get home and then learn that the kids school is being cancelled for the next day which I was totally expecting and I get ready to plan for a quiet day at home watching the snow fall....Dan prepares to leave for work earlier and we have a contingency plan set up for him to possibly stay near his work for the evening if the roads are bad.

TUESDAY:
Dan and I wake up early...Dan leaves early for work and makes it before it really starts snowing. The kids and I prepare to be home. By 8:30 we can't see the road pavement...it's snowing steadily and I am thankful to not be driving in the weather. At 10:45 I get a call from Dan saying that they have closed his company for the day and that he is on his way home. He gets home by 12:30 and we enjoy a nice lunch together...it was a lazy afternoon watching the blizzard blow in and seeing the weather and wind change....we were kinda mean parents and sent Jaron for the trash cans in the middle of a heavy patch of snow! Dan and I got naps...that evening Dan and I call his company and find out that we all have a snow day for the next day...in fact my work closed on Wednesday as well. We enjoy a family movie night that night and look forward to sleeping in.

WEDNESDAY:
We start the process of digging out. Our house has a super long driveway that runs the length of the house to a cement pad in the back where the garages are and so it takes a LONG time to shovel...so long in fact that we techincally haven't totally finished. Both cars were in the garage too so we had to clear enough room to get the cars out of the garages. We worked for many hours and still didn't finish the job...we get a call that the kids don't have school for Thursday too. This starts the great debate of who stays home with the kids and what to do..Dan decides its his turn and that he will drive me to work after getting the van out.

THURSDAY:
Dan gets the curb clear and gets the van out so he can take me to work. Then he and the kids spend the afternoon clearing the walk and enough room in the driveway to park the two cars. I went to work and found out that I had no kids on Tuesday so I totally felt better for not being at work...the conditions were really bad...Dan picks me up from work and we enjoy a pizza dinner at Pizza Hut.

FRIDAY:
School is back on and it's a normal day. Dan goes to work and then gets a flat tire. So on my lunch break I have to head to the bank and do a balance transfer so Dan can get four new tires for the van. Again very thankful for the babysitter who was able to watch the kids longer than normal. I get home totally exhausted. The week really hit mehard and the baby was very active all day causing me pain. Add to the pain uncomfortable chairs and hard floors and I feel like I am totally done.

Only 5 more weeks of work....I really hope there are no more snow days....I'm beyond exhausted from all the planning and detail arranging. Being 29 weeks pregnant makes for slower movements and added tiredness...plus I'm often starving.

Looking forward to a less busy weekend and couponing grocery trip...and some good naps!