I feel the need to write today.
I haven't felt like writing for a long time.
I've been BUSY....I mean super busy....I mean so busy that at times I can't believe how busy I am.
It's hard to write when you are busy.
When I am busy I tend to complain, and when I write when I am busy I post more complaints than anything at that shouldn't happen.
So no complaining...just commenting.
I've enjoyed the fall...with the exception of getting sick.
See I lost my voice...a major part of who I am is my voice. I talk a lot being a teacher, I also sing a lot and I was unable to do that. It was rough.
It was also good I think.
I'll tell you why...I had to listen more.
I had to stand and understand that it's okay to be quiet.
It's hard to be quiet...it's hard to not speak when you like to talk.
But it's good, its necessary and it's revealing.
I'm trying to be quiet more...to listen, to think, to be okay with the stillness.
So I'm trying to adapt, to change and to be quieter...it's hard, I'm a loud person but I think it will be good!
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Sunday, November 24, 2013
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Sometimes
Sometimes your plan isn't what you want...but it's sometimes what He has for you.
Sometimes you feel angry or tired...and God is there to help you.
Sometimes you get angry and use inappropriate language...and God gently taps you on the shoulder and reminds you that you are better than that.
Sometimes you feel down and crazy sad...and a song of Praise will lift your Spirit and turn your focus on HIM.
Sometimes you get angry and ask Why?....and sometimes there is no immediate answer, but He is still there.
Sometimes you wonder why you are given something you didn't know you wanted or needed...and God reminds you HE is in control.
Sometimes you can't believe you are getting to be so old and yet you are so young and immature in your thinking...I'm thankful God is not like me.
Sometimes you need to step back, breathe and just be thankful for the life you are given. I'm that sometime today...thankful that my God is bigger, and greater than anything I can feel, think or wonder.
Sometimes you feel angry or tired...and God is there to help you.
Sometimes you get angry and use inappropriate language...and God gently taps you on the shoulder and reminds you that you are better than that.
Sometimes you feel down and crazy sad...and a song of Praise will lift your Spirit and turn your focus on HIM.
Sometimes you get angry and ask Why?....and sometimes there is no immediate answer, but He is still there.
Sometimes you wonder why you are given something you didn't know you wanted or needed...and God reminds you HE is in control.
Sometimes you can't believe you are getting to be so old and yet you are so young and immature in your thinking...I'm thankful God is not like me.
Sometimes you need to step back, breathe and just be thankful for the life you are given. I'm that sometime today...thankful that my God is bigger, and greater than anything I can feel, think or wonder.
Friday, March 1, 2013
Looking Back to Look Forward
It's that time again...evaluation time.
It's been another month. Another goal, another process of seeing if I am better.
Well, I've kinda fallen off the blog wagon...but I have been busy and the toddler has discovered watching TV.
I've been trying to make more time with the hubby so I am off the computer more.
I've been trying to be loving and giving this month and show love even when I am tired, frustrated or being selfish.
See, I'm human and I am not superwoman and I forget that sometimes.
It's been a full and crazy month.
I have shown love, I have been snowed in, I have put others needs before mine. I have helped in ways I have not thought physically possible.
It's been good, bad and challenging all wrapped into one.
Well, what does March look like...what's the goal....what do I need to work on.
My goal this month is HEALTH. Being healthy. Eating healthy, behaving healthy, loving healthy, a good goal.
Hopefully an attainable one. I'm feeling much healthier mentally but I still have work that needs to be done. So HEALTH is the goal.
Here's to a good month!
It's been another month. Another goal, another process of seeing if I am better.
Well, I've kinda fallen off the blog wagon...but I have been busy and the toddler has discovered watching TV.
I've been trying to make more time with the hubby so I am off the computer more.
I've been trying to be loving and giving this month and show love even when I am tired, frustrated or being selfish.
See, I'm human and I am not superwoman and I forget that sometimes.
It's been a full and crazy month.
I have shown love, I have been snowed in, I have put others needs before mine. I have helped in ways I have not thought physically possible.
It's been good, bad and challenging all wrapped into one.
Well, what does March look like...what's the goal....what do I need to work on.
My goal this month is HEALTH. Being healthy. Eating healthy, behaving healthy, loving healthy, a good goal.
Hopefully an attainable one. I'm feeling much healthier mentally but I still have work that needs to be done. So HEALTH is the goal.
Here's to a good month!
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Pondering Rain
"Rain Rain...go away...
Come again some other day"
Remember that rhyme. I remember growing up in Sunny California and thinking this on some rainy days.
I used to dislike Rainy days...now I enjoy them.
There is something wonderful about a gentle falling rain. A good soak for the earth. There is something fun in splashing in puddles and walking in the rain
We had a very dry summer. A long drought...hot and dry. It was not the greatest.
This year we are getting more rain.
Last night it rained, thundered and hailed. Spring weather in February! I love the sound of rain on the roof.
It made me think of my journey.
Rain is good....tears are good. Sadness is helpful. Blessings come in unexpected ways.
The song above is one that has touched me many times especially when I am feeling down or low. Sometimes pain and trials are God's way of making me a stronger vessel to serve him. Sometimes when things are hard I need to look for the blessing instead of the pain.
Sometimes I have to serve my family instead of demanding they serve me. It's about being a blessing and being blessed.
I hope you are blessed and being a blessing to others today!
Come again some other day"
Remember that rhyme. I remember growing up in Sunny California and thinking this on some rainy days.
I used to dislike Rainy days...now I enjoy them.
There is something wonderful about a gentle falling rain. A good soak for the earth. There is something fun in splashing in puddles and walking in the rain
We had a very dry summer. A long drought...hot and dry. It was not the greatest.
This year we are getting more rain.
Last night it rained, thundered and hailed. Spring weather in February! I love the sound of rain on the roof.
It made me think of my journey.
Rain is good....tears are good. Sadness is helpful. Blessings come in unexpected ways.
The song above is one that has touched me many times especially when I am feeling down or low. Sometimes pain and trials are God's way of making me a stronger vessel to serve him. Sometimes when things are hard I need to look for the blessing instead of the pain.
Sometimes I have to serve my family instead of demanding they serve me. It's about being a blessing and being blessed.
I hope you are blessed and being a blessing to others today!
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Loving the Unlovable
We all know that person who just can push your buttons faster than you would like.
They are annoying, they are obnoxious, they are self centered, they are just not someone you like to be around.
I have one of these in my life right now. We attend the same church
This person also really likes me or just doesn't see how she annoys me.
Don't get me wrong, she is a very sweet girl. She loves people, and she loves Jesus and she love my family. She tries to be helpful and I appreciate that on one hand, but on the other hand, I just want to turn the other direction and not interact with her at all!
I think God has placed her in my life because he wants me to learn how to LOVE.
according to I Corinthians 13 Love is this...
- patient,
- kind,
- not jealous,
- not a braggart,
- not arrogant,
- does not act unbecomingly,
- does not seek its own,
- is not provoked,
- does not take into account a wrong,
- does not rejoice in unrighteousness,
- rejoices in the truth,
- bears all things,
- believes all things,
- hopes all things,
- love never fails.
When I am around her I will admit I am not these things but I am praying that I will be. I have to love those who are unlovable to me, just as others need to love me when I am unlovable.
I was probably not the most lovable when I was younger, I have days when I am not the most lovable now but that is no excuse for me not to love.
It's my desire to be loving to all who need to be loved, whether I find them lovable or not...even if its not always what I find the easiest thing to be doing!
Saturday, February 2, 2013
IT's JUST TOO HARD
"This is impossible"
"I can't stand this"
"I don't want to do this, it's just too hard"
These statements I have heard this morning coming from my living room.
And no, I didn't say them, I overheard them.
The 10 year old is working on cleaning up the living room....and the mess its bad, really bad, and I offered to pay him but he really doesn't want to do it.
He's frustrated, and I understand, I'm there with him.
However, I am stopping playing the martyr. I'm not going to let him give up, and I am not going to do it for him. He needs to learn, and I need to guide him to do his best and accomplish the task.
My life has been like this...full of frustrations and hurts and complaints of it just being way to hard!
I've gained some hope though, it's hard, yes, it's hard...and I am not the only person in the world who feels this way. I have friends, and other mom's who blog, unknown acquaintances who also struggle with this same stuff. I'm not the only one who struggles and struggles and fails at being "SUPERMOM".
I don't have to be "SUPERMOM"! I don't have a magic cape, I can't fly, I'm not Mary Poppins and IT's OKAY!
Whew...wow...did I finally admit it!
That's the heart of it, I have to let go of my desire to be perfect.
I'm not perfect, I'm not amazing, I'm not the best...I'm just me.
Sometimes I do things really really well. Sometimes I don't do things very well.
I thought of it like this...
I can be a good cook....but I can also be a good kitchen cleaner so I want to cook more!
I can be a great mom...and I can let the little things slide and inspire my children in their inspirations.
I can be a good teacher...and I can also have an off day...but I am not defined by my failure.
I can be a good motivator...and ASK for help!
I can be weak....I can't carry the load alone.
It's just too Hard to do things alone...and it's just too hard to do things in my own strength...I've been again seeing that only be allowing myself to be weak and frail and asking for help and asking for God's help am I truly able to get through the day and work at being the best mom, wife, teacher and friend I can be.
It's hard to admit your not as great as you want to be, but at the same time it is a very freeing experience!
"I can't stand this"
"I don't want to do this, it's just too hard"
These statements I have heard this morning coming from my living room.
And no, I didn't say them, I overheard them.
The 10 year old is working on cleaning up the living room....and the mess its bad, really bad, and I offered to pay him but he really doesn't want to do it.
He's frustrated, and I understand, I'm there with him.
However, I am stopping playing the martyr. I'm not going to let him give up, and I am not going to do it for him. He needs to learn, and I need to guide him to do his best and accomplish the task.
My life has been like this...full of frustrations and hurts and complaints of it just being way to hard!
I've gained some hope though, it's hard, yes, it's hard...and I am not the only person in the world who feels this way. I have friends, and other mom's who blog, unknown acquaintances who also struggle with this same stuff. I'm not the only one who struggles and struggles and fails at being "SUPERMOM".
I don't have to be "SUPERMOM"! I don't have a magic cape, I can't fly, I'm not Mary Poppins and IT's OKAY!
Whew...wow...did I finally admit it!
That's the heart of it, I have to let go of my desire to be perfect.
I'm not perfect, I'm not amazing, I'm not the best...I'm just me.
Sometimes I do things really really well. Sometimes I don't do things very well.
I thought of it like this...
I can be a good cook....but I can also be a good kitchen cleaner so I want to cook more!
I can be a great mom...and I can let the little things slide and inspire my children in their inspirations.
I can be a good teacher...and I can also have an off day...but I am not defined by my failure.
I can be a good motivator...and ASK for help!
I can be weak....I can't carry the load alone.
It's just too Hard to do things alone...and it's just too hard to do things in my own strength...I've been again seeing that only be allowing myself to be weak and frail and asking for help and asking for God's help am I truly able to get through the day and work at being the best mom, wife, teacher and friend I can be.
It's hard to admit your not as great as you want to be, but at the same time it is a very freeing experience!
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Comfortable
Just because something is comfortable doesn't mean its attractive or right.
I'm not a hug fan of this show but Stacy London and Clinton Kelly bash peoples arguments that wearing what you find comfortable doesn't mean that you are always presenting your best side.
When things get uncomfortable or you get pulled away from the comfort of it all you are more likely to make a change...either for the positive or the negative.
My life is sometimes comfortable and sometimes not comfortable.
I'm very comfortable with who I am outside my house.
At work I am defined by my job, a teacher. The children in my room love me, I plan fun lessons and enjoy teaching little people new things. I know I have a start time, a finish time and I do my best to be the best I can be. It's as easy as that...I'm comfortable.
I'm not always as comfortable at home.
At home, I feel like I have to be everything to everybody, I have to be able to see everything that is going on, fix every problem, change everything that needs to be done. It a big role and I feel like I don't do it great every time. When this happens I begin to feel like a failure.
I let my weakness be what I focus on...not who I am or what I do right.
I get comfortable with being discontent. I feel uncomfortable by my weakness and I then I get stressed out by my life.
I need to work on being content with my weakness, to not be defined by my failures or shortcoming but to embrace what I do well.
Today I conquered life by:
- breaking my chores into manageable pieces and relishing in the victory of something getting accomplished!
- saw my sister, got to appreciate the skill with which she has been gifted in painting and art and now have loveliness to see on my walls.
- cooking a meal I enjoy eating and savoring the flavors of the food and knowing that my family enjoys it as well!
It's been a good day full of ups and downs and twists and turns but I didn't let myself get comfortable with falling into my old habits! And for that I am thankful!
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Re-Inventions
Wow! Here it is 2013 and I have a new year ahead of me.
I have a blank calendar, a blank slate as it were to fill with my life. I've been pondering this over the last few days:
What do I want this year to look like?
What do I want to change?
What do I NEED to change?
What will my focus for the year be?
I've been struggling recently, really struggling. My focus has been shifted, my mood low, I'll admit it, I'm in a Valley...a deep valley, a dark valley at times. It's been painful, and I have been not the nicest or loving person to my family. I've been very focused on ME. I've been very focused on the WHY ME's, "why isn't my life better, why doesn't anyone help me. why doesn't anyone take care of me". Selfish isn't it, and yet sometimes I feel like I am justified in my thinking.
I take care of the household, I take care of the bills, I get up every night with a toddler who somehow forgot how to sleep all night 3 months ago...sometimes he's up once, sometimes he's up twice, if I am really unlucky I end up sleeping with him. I do what feels like everything...and I'm tired.
I'm tired. That's the truth, I am emotionally, spiritually and physically tired. Like I said, I'm in a low place...but I am going to be climbing the mountain. I'm going to get out of this valley. I'm going to change my focus.
Today is the first day of a new year and a good way to look ahead...Forward as it were....I need to put the past in the past and stop dragging it out and wallowing over it. I can't change it, I can't, it's in the past...I can only work on TODAY. Today is where I am...the present. I can look ahead to the future but what I am doing TODAY is what will impact the future. I have no perfect crystal ball that will show me what the future holds. I'm not to worry about tomorrow, I'm not to fret about yesterday, I need to focus on TODAY!. I need to look for the good and happy things in today. I need to relish the small things and not get too caught up in the I wishes, the I needs, the why's of it all. I need to be CONTENT.
I've claimed a passage of Scripture for the year. It's going to be a tough one to follow but I believe it is a necessary one. I took it out of my favorite book in the Bible. I feel like this book is written for me...it's the book of Philippians. It's a book about Joy and Rejoicing in what the Lord has done for us. Too often I get focused on the bad and not look at the good, and it affects how people look at me and the impact I have on those around me. I'm going to focus and work to fulfill this simple command...
"Do all things without grumbling or disputing so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God about reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation among whom you appear as lights in the world."
Easy enough huh....hah! I'm a champion when it comes to complaining! I'm the queen bee as it were...but not anymore...I'm going to look at enjoying life again!
Will you join me on my journey? Will you choose like me to put the ugly and selfish behind us and focus on the Forward Journey of Today. Will you look for things to be happy about? Things for which to be thankful and find meaning even in the menial, small, overlooked tasks.
Come and join me, it may not be an easy journey but I am praying that it will be a meaningful one.
I have a blank calendar, a blank slate as it were to fill with my life. I've been pondering this over the last few days:
What do I want this year to look like?
What do I want to change?
What do I NEED to change?
What will my focus for the year be?
I've been struggling recently, really struggling. My focus has been shifted, my mood low, I'll admit it, I'm in a Valley...a deep valley, a dark valley at times. It's been painful, and I have been not the nicest or loving person to my family. I've been very focused on ME. I've been very focused on the WHY ME's, "why isn't my life better, why doesn't anyone help me. why doesn't anyone take care of me". Selfish isn't it, and yet sometimes I feel like I am justified in my thinking.
 |
| This is my yard as the kids were building snowmen yesterday....really not pretty, this is how I've been feeling lately, really not pretty...run over as it were. |
I'm tired. That's the truth, I am emotionally, spiritually and physically tired. Like I said, I'm in a low place...but I am going to be climbing the mountain. I'm going to get out of this valley. I'm going to change my focus.
Today is the first day of a new year and a good way to look ahead...Forward as it were....I need to put the past in the past and stop dragging it out and wallowing over it. I can't change it, I can't, it's in the past...I can only work on TODAY. Today is where I am...the present. I can look ahead to the future but what I am doing TODAY is what will impact the future. I have no perfect crystal ball that will show me what the future holds. I'm not to worry about tomorrow, I'm not to fret about yesterday, I need to focus on TODAY!. I need to look for the good and happy things in today. I need to relish the small things and not get too caught up in the I wishes, the I needs, the why's of it all. I need to be CONTENT.
I've claimed a passage of Scripture for the year. It's going to be a tough one to follow but I believe it is a necessary one. I took it out of my favorite book in the Bible. I feel like this book is written for me...it's the book of Philippians. It's a book about Joy and Rejoicing in what the Lord has done for us. Too often I get focused on the bad and not look at the good, and it affects how people look at me and the impact I have on those around me. I'm going to focus and work to fulfill this simple command...
"Do all things without grumbling or disputing so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God about reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation among whom you appear as lights in the world."
Easy enough huh....hah! I'm a champion when it comes to complaining! I'm the queen bee as it were...but not anymore...I'm going to look at enjoying life again!
Will you join me on my journey? Will you choose like me to put the ugly and selfish behind us and focus on the Forward Journey of Today. Will you look for things to be happy about? Things for which to be thankful and find meaning even in the menial, small, overlooked tasks.
Come and join me, it may not be an easy journey but I am praying that it will be a meaningful one.
 |
| It snowed yesterday....a really pretty snow...covering the brown and dead things in the yard...a nice focus on New Years Eve. |
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
A Good Day
Happy Anniversary to Us! We have made it to this lucky number!
Our day was full of delightful things like going to...
We then went and saw a movie. Yes we saw a movie that was probably kid appropriate but so much more enjoyable without children. Plus, I had a gift card from a student, it was an early morning matinee so it was FREE!!!! I love FREE!!! We enjoyed seeing Men in Black III and would recommend it to others.
After the movie we went and enjoyed fajitas at one of our favorite restaurants.
YUMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I am super happy and blessed to be married to a great guy and looking forward to many more years and fun times together!
Saturday, June 23, 2012
My Quirky Kids
As the kids are getting older, maturing their personalities are so different from each other. I'm getting to know these guys as they mature and change and develop and it's fun and exhausting all at the same time.
Janea is her own person. At times she is sweet and loving, at other times she is smart and sassy most of the time lately she seems to be grumpy. She is growing into her teen age self and struggling with being 12. She's excited about being in 7th grade and yet at the same time I feel like her defensiveness is just a way of keeping her guard up. We are working on helping her to grow into lady full of grace and beauty but it is a hard and challenging process.
Jaron is full of energy and VOLUME! Seriously, I don't think he understands the meaning of be quiet. He is the one who we are constantly reminding to turn down his volume and calm down. He does everything full of gusto. He is a great big brother to Jayden, an annoying little brother to Janea and we are working on having him be more of Dan's helper on things.
Jayden is quite the charmer when he wants to, a screamer when he wants something, a give me what I want or I will throw a fit kid, he's either happy or sad...there really isn't a middle ground with him. It's challenging to be starting over with the toddler phase but we are enjoying it too. I won't lie, I will not be sad when he is potty trained! I don't enjoy diapers.
So that's some of what I have been thinking about lately! Love my kiddos!
Janea is her own person. At times she is sweet and loving, at other times she is smart and sassy most of the time lately she seems to be grumpy. She is growing into her teen age self and struggling with being 12. She's excited about being in 7th grade and yet at the same time I feel like her defensiveness is just a way of keeping her guard up. We are working on helping her to grow into lady full of grace and beauty but it is a hard and challenging process.
Jaron is full of energy and VOLUME! Seriously, I don't think he understands the meaning of be quiet. He is the one who we are constantly reminding to turn down his volume and calm down. He does everything full of gusto. He is a great big brother to Jayden, an annoying little brother to Janea and we are working on having him be more of Dan's helper on things.
Jayden is quite the charmer when he wants to, a screamer when he wants something, a give me what I want or I will throw a fit kid, he's either happy or sad...there really isn't a middle ground with him. It's challenging to be starting over with the toddler phase but we are enjoying it too. I won't lie, I will not be sad when he is potty trained! I don't enjoy diapers.
So that's some of what I have been thinking about lately! Love my kiddos!
Monday, June 4, 2012
Hello? Anyone still here?
I have been away from the old blog for over a month. Wow! I have always posted at least once a month and I didn't post at all in the month of May. And I realized I do miss blogging. My life has changed though I don't find myself with the time I used to have to both read the blogs of others and update mine the way I once did. I blame the addition of another child, a full time job, a husband who works the same shift as me and just the busyness of life.
I've been thinking about what I want to blog about and I think I will use it now for pictures and other things that are important in our life and leave the mundane stuff for awhile. I'm also not going to be as whiny...you don't need to read about my ups and downs...I may also address topics that are important to me and post fun projects that I do in my preschool class as a tool to one help me remember and help other teachers who may need help.
So here's what is up with us:
SUMMER...but not a break from school. I am working Monday-Thursday while the kids are in summer school and we get 3 day weekends. So we will get to swim and have fun at the pool on the weekends and be busy with school during the week.
WALKING...Jayden is full on walking, almost running and getting into EVERYTHING!
TODDLERDOM...boy I forgot what life with a toddler is like. WOW! It's crazy at our house...Jayden is a busy boy, a screamy boy, a give me what I want or I will throw a fit boy, a fun boy, needs his routine boy and I am working on adapting life to fit around his routine rather than the other way around....otherwise we are all frustrated at the end of the day.
VACATION...we are not taking a true vacation but the big kids are going camping with their grandparents and Dan and I are going to hang out with them and get away for an overnight. It will be good!
So that's a brief update...will post pictures soon.
I've been thinking about what I want to blog about and I think I will use it now for pictures and other things that are important in our life and leave the mundane stuff for awhile. I'm also not going to be as whiny...you don't need to read about my ups and downs...I may also address topics that are important to me and post fun projects that I do in my preschool class as a tool to one help me remember and help other teachers who may need help.
So here's what is up with us:
SUMMER...but not a break from school. I am working Monday-Thursday while the kids are in summer school and we get 3 day weekends. So we will get to swim and have fun at the pool on the weekends and be busy with school during the week.
WALKING...Jayden is full on walking, almost running and getting into EVERYTHING!
TODDLERDOM...boy I forgot what life with a toddler is like. WOW! It's crazy at our house...Jayden is a busy boy, a screamy boy, a give me what I want or I will throw a fit boy, a fun boy, needs his routine boy and I am working on adapting life to fit around his routine rather than the other way around....otherwise we are all frustrated at the end of the day.
VACATION...we are not taking a true vacation but the big kids are going camping with their grandparents and Dan and I are going to hang out with them and get away for an overnight. It will be good!
So that's a brief update...will post pictures soon.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Randomness
The kiddos and I are on Christmas break...no I don't call it WINTER BREAK or WINTER HOLIDAY....I celebrate Christmas and for me this will always be Christmas Break!
I missed having a Christmas Break last year....this year I am enjoying it....or I am trying to enjoy it...despite having a moody preteen in the house and a rambunctios 9 year old who loves video games more than anything except maybe eating and who uses to much ketchup but that's neither here or there...
My goal for Christmas Break is to get a plan together for the family for chores and stuff to help keep this house more BABY proof since Jayden is a ninja and can find things he shouldn't have faster than any baby should be able to and because the messiness is getting to me. I don't enjoy not being able to find things that I need easily, I am tired when I get home from work and I don't want to spend all evening trying to get things under control and seriously I am thinking of joining a nudist colony just to cut back on the LAUNDRY....how is it that adding another person to the household brings so much LAUNDRY....I think they are like bunnies and multiply.
I've also decided to pair down my wardrobe....SOME...not completely but I have quite a few shirts that no longer cover my belly when I raise my arms or I have had them for a while and I frankly need some new stuff and I can't fit it all in the drawers in my room which is contributing to my laundry problems. Oh the joys of living where clothing is affordable and we have extra money to spend on it!
I'm thinking of resolutions. New Years is right around the corner and I need some goals for all of us to work on in the coming year. I need to be PURPOSEFUL in what I strive to have us acheive as a family, what I want to accomplish as an individual and how I can be more supportive to my husband. I don't want to fail in my endeavors this year.
I'm also going to attempt the Project 365...where you take a picture a day for an entire year....I am curious to see how our life will enfold in pictures....it's a cool project when done well and I am excited to attempt it!
Well, that's a little bit of the randomness in my brain...hard to believe that there are only 4 more days until 2012....
I missed having a Christmas Break last year....this year I am enjoying it....or I am trying to enjoy it...despite having a moody preteen in the house and a rambunctios 9 year old who loves video games more than anything except maybe eating and who uses to much ketchup but that's neither here or there...
My goal for Christmas Break is to get a plan together for the family for chores and stuff to help keep this house more BABY proof since Jayden is a ninja and can find things he shouldn't have faster than any baby should be able to and because the messiness is getting to me. I don't enjoy not being able to find things that I need easily, I am tired when I get home from work and I don't want to spend all evening trying to get things under control and seriously I am thinking of joining a nudist colony just to cut back on the LAUNDRY....how is it that adding another person to the household brings so much LAUNDRY....I think they are like bunnies and multiply.
I've also decided to pair down my wardrobe....SOME...not completely but I have quite a few shirts that no longer cover my belly when I raise my arms or I have had them for a while and I frankly need some new stuff and I can't fit it all in the drawers in my room which is contributing to my laundry problems. Oh the joys of living where clothing is affordable and we have extra money to spend on it!
I'm thinking of resolutions. New Years is right around the corner and I need some goals for all of us to work on in the coming year. I need to be PURPOSEFUL in what I strive to have us acheive as a family, what I want to accomplish as an individual and how I can be more supportive to my husband. I don't want to fail in my endeavors this year.
I'm also going to attempt the Project 365...where you take a picture a day for an entire year....I am curious to see how our life will enfold in pictures....it's a cool project when done well and I am excited to attempt it!
Well, that's a little bit of the randomness in my brain...hard to believe that there are only 4 more days until 2012....
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Doctor Drama
Yesterday was a dramatic day for me...a tiring, stressful type of day. Filled with DOCTORS....I'm getting to the point that I HATE going to the doctor.
Jayden is 4 months old and had his 4 month check up yesterday. We made it on time, got back to see the doctor, his check up is going really well until our Doctor is concerned about his weight on the growth charts. Jayden is no small tyke...he is a BIG baby. The scale at our Doctor office said he weighed 21 pounds, I had been weighing him regularly at home with me and I was sure he was around 19 pounds. So I was a little bit surprised. Well based on their measurement and his position on the growth curve for a child his age the doctor was concerned that there might be something causing it...like his Thyroid. So he wanted to do some bloodwork. Well, we finished up the appointment, got our shots, and then heading next door to the hospital to have our bloodwork done. As we get to the hospital it's beginning to rain and a very nice man in a golf cart gave me a ride to the door...so nice!
After checking in at the hospital and heading into the lab we are called in. Where they proceed to take 3 vials of blood from his heels...jaundice tests are done in the heel but call for a small amount of blood...getting 3 vials from the heel is a grueling process and super stressful for both Mom and baby. Finally we get finished and head to the lobby where it is poring down rain....sheets of rain...so we waited till it lightened up and then got a ride back to the car by the same nice man in the golf cart! I seriously love him!
I get home...and notice our power was on but that it had gone off again during our visit...it had been off and off all morning before our appointment. I get Jayden down for a nap, sit to take a breather when the Doctor's office calls me...Jaydens initial bloodwork has come back showing HIGH Potassium which could be stressful on his heart and I need to take him to Children's Mercy to have them redo the lab and check him out. PANIC mode sets in... I immediately call my parents and ask for prayer, start praying, call my husband, and I called my buddy Katy and told her and she offers to go with me...PRAISE GOD for friends! I am so thankful for my friend who stepped in to help me through this. I get ready to go and we are off...my mom called during this time to see if I wanted her to go with me and I told her Katy was with me and could she help with the big kids instead...and she said yes....just keep her posted.
We get to Children's Mercy...tell the nurses what was going on...called the Doctor to confirm...and then we WAIT...and WAIT....and WAIT...after 2 hours we see the Doctor...he doesn't think that the weight is a problem or the Thyroid...and their scale is showing Jayden at 18-19 pounds...big but not a concern...but he does agree that we need to redo the Potassium levels...finally we get the test done...and Finally the result comes back and HE IS FINE...normal levels, not a problem...WHEW....Thank you Jesus! 4 hours later we get to leave...
On the way home I get a call from a place I have applied at and they call me for an interview...so Tuesday(today) at 2:30 I will go and interview and if it is God's will I will get the job! I'm thankful that so many things worked out yesterday.
Hand of God Moments:
*my parents(who work at the same place) took 2 cars so my mom could come and meet the kids after school!
*my buddy Katy is home from the Phillipines and works mornings so she could come with me!
* my interview was scheduled after I knew my baby was fine!
Thankful for God's provision and a Healthy baby! Looking forward to the rest of the week...oh and Jayden slept really good last night....poorthing was all tuckered out!
Jayden is 4 months old and had his 4 month check up yesterday. We made it on time, got back to see the doctor, his check up is going really well until our Doctor is concerned about his weight on the growth charts. Jayden is no small tyke...he is a BIG baby. The scale at our Doctor office said he weighed 21 pounds, I had been weighing him regularly at home with me and I was sure he was around 19 pounds. So I was a little bit surprised. Well based on their measurement and his position on the growth curve for a child his age the doctor was concerned that there might be something causing it...like his Thyroid. So he wanted to do some bloodwork. Well, we finished up the appointment, got our shots, and then heading next door to the hospital to have our bloodwork done. As we get to the hospital it's beginning to rain and a very nice man in a golf cart gave me a ride to the door...so nice!
After checking in at the hospital and heading into the lab we are called in. Where they proceed to take 3 vials of blood from his heels...jaundice tests are done in the heel but call for a small amount of blood...getting 3 vials from the heel is a grueling process and super stressful for both Mom and baby. Finally we get finished and head to the lobby where it is poring down rain....sheets of rain...so we waited till it lightened up and then got a ride back to the car by the same nice man in the golf cart! I seriously love him!
I get home...and notice our power was on but that it had gone off again during our visit...it had been off and off all morning before our appointment. I get Jayden down for a nap, sit to take a breather when the Doctor's office calls me...Jaydens initial bloodwork has come back showing HIGH Potassium which could be stressful on his heart and I need to take him to Children's Mercy to have them redo the lab and check him out. PANIC mode sets in... I immediately call my parents and ask for prayer, start praying, call my husband, and I called my buddy Katy and told her and she offers to go with me...PRAISE GOD for friends! I am so thankful for my friend who stepped in to help me through this. I get ready to go and we are off...my mom called during this time to see if I wanted her to go with me and I told her Katy was with me and could she help with the big kids instead...and she said yes....just keep her posted.
We get to Children's Mercy...tell the nurses what was going on...called the Doctor to confirm...and then we WAIT...and WAIT....and WAIT...after 2 hours we see the Doctor...he doesn't think that the weight is a problem or the Thyroid...and their scale is showing Jayden at 18-19 pounds...big but not a concern...but he does agree that we need to redo the Potassium levels...finally we get the test done...and Finally the result comes back and HE IS FINE...normal levels, not a problem...WHEW....Thank you Jesus! 4 hours later we get to leave...
On the way home I get a call from a place I have applied at and they call me for an interview...so Tuesday(today) at 2:30 I will go and interview and if it is God's will I will get the job! I'm thankful that so many things worked out yesterday.
Hand of God Moments:
*my parents(who work at the same place) took 2 cars so my mom could come and meet the kids after school!
*my buddy Katy is home from the Phillipines and works mornings so she could come with me!
* my interview was scheduled after I knew my baby was fine!
Thankful for God's provision and a Healthy baby! Looking forward to the rest of the week...oh and Jayden slept really good last night....poorthing was all tuckered out!
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
The Waiting Game
We are playing the waiting game right now.
Baby could come at anytime. Or Baby could wait until later...and since we don't know what day it will be it's challenging right now to wait.
I'm having contractions daily...some are really big and painful and regular but then they stop. I don't want to be a wimp and go to the doctor to early but I am getting frustrated at the same time.
When I was pregnant with Janea I didn't know what to expect and my water broke first.
With Jaron I went into labor earlier than planned and while surprised I had a feeling he was coming.
This baby...I'm clueless...I think he's coming and then I am like nope...I don't know...and since the big kids were early at 37 (Jaron) weeks and 38 (Janea) weeks I have never gone to my due date so I am like..okay here I am same time as the other two...you can come! He isn't listening very well so far. I tell him it's okay to come, Daddy has told him, Jaron has told him, Janea won't talk to my stomach but she has even said it outloud...we are ready for him to come.
So we wait...and wait...and wait...
I HATE WAITING!
Baby could come at anytime. Or Baby could wait until later...and since we don't know what day it will be it's challenging right now to wait.
I'm having contractions daily...some are really big and painful and regular but then they stop. I don't want to be a wimp and go to the doctor to early but I am getting frustrated at the same time.
When I was pregnant with Janea I didn't know what to expect and my water broke first.
With Jaron I went into labor earlier than planned and while surprised I had a feeling he was coming.
This baby...I'm clueless...I think he's coming and then I am like nope...I don't know...and since the big kids were early at 37 (Jaron) weeks and 38 (Janea) weeks I have never gone to my due date so I am like..okay here I am same time as the other two...you can come! He isn't listening very well so far. I tell him it's okay to come, Daddy has told him, Jaron has told him, Janea won't talk to my stomach but she has even said it outloud...we are ready for him to come.
So we wait...and wait...and wait...
I HATE WAITING!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Ufff da
Uff da...Dan has been trying to get used to the time change happening over the weekend by getting up an hour earlier every morning.
Uff Da....I'm not sleeping much anymore and last night I didn't fall into a good sleep until after 2 in the morning...
Uff Da...Dan needed his work clothes and they were still in the basement...so he woke me up earlier than I wanted but fortunately and hour and a half after his alarm went off...and I had told him it was okay....just thought I would sleep more.
Uff da...got his clothes and then helped him make his lunch and saw him on his way...now I am getting the kiddos ready for school and then I am going to TAKE A NAP!!!!
Uff da...pregnancy and sleep just aren't happening for me!
Uff Da....I'm not sleeping much anymore and last night I didn't fall into a good sleep until after 2 in the morning...
Uff Da...Dan needed his work clothes and they were still in the basement...so he woke me up earlier than I wanted but fortunately and hour and a half after his alarm went off...and I had told him it was okay....just thought I would sleep more.
Uff da...got his clothes and then helped him make his lunch and saw him on his way...now I am getting the kiddos ready for school and then I am going to TAKE A NAP!!!!
Uff da...pregnancy and sleep just aren't happening for me!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
10 pieces of Randomness
1. Early Mornings and Sleepless nights are NOT the best combination.
2. Well rested children can be Very Noisy when you are extra tired.
3. Elbows, knees and feet...that's gotta be all that this little one has...he has been wiggling up a storm!
4. Motivation is here...energy may be lacking.
5. Cranberry Limeades at Sonic are AWESOME!
6. Husband is feeling better...wife is feeling worse...isn't that always the way it goes!
7. Rainbow sherbert must be eaten in moderation...it can be a case of too much of a good thing!
8. Grateful for libraries and new books to read....especially when tired.
9. Grateful for school and the opportunity for quiet rest.
10. Grateful to only have 43 more days of being pregnant!
2. Well rested children can be Very Noisy when you are extra tired.
3. Elbows, knees and feet...that's gotta be all that this little one has...he has been wiggling up a storm!
4. Motivation is here...energy may be lacking.
5. Cranberry Limeades at Sonic are AWESOME!
6. Husband is feeling better...wife is feeling worse...isn't that always the way it goes!
7. Rainbow sherbert must be eaten in moderation...it can be a case of too much of a good thing!
8. Grateful for libraries and new books to read....especially when tired.
9. Grateful for school and the opportunity for quiet rest.
10. Grateful to only have 43 more days of being pregnant!
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Ready??? Or Not Ready???
I have roughly 7 weeks to go with this pregnancy.
People ask me if I am "ready". The answer is Yes and No.
I am ready to have my body back.
I am ready to not have a little boy jumping on my bladder and kicking and waking me up at night to use the bathroom what feels like a hundred times.
I am ready to sleep on my stomach again.
I am ready to not have to remind Jaron to not hug me so hard or to be careful while around me.
I am ready to be able to wear shoes with laces again.
I am ready to put my socks and underwear and clothing on without feeling like a contortionist.
I am ready to meet this little guy and get to know him.
I am ready to see how he will fit into the family dynamic.
I am NOT ready with the baby room. So far I have a changing table dresser, pack and play bassinet and that's about it. I still need a crib and mattress and to arrange and clean the room
I am NOT ready for labor...dreading the birthing process again.
I am NOT ready with enough clothing for baby to last a week. I really need to get on this.
I am NOT ready with meals and the like....gotta plan ahead with easy to fix stuff.
I am NOT ready to juggle a newborn with the needs of an 8 year old boy and 10 year old girl. I know the big kids will be a big help but I am concerned if I will be a good mom to all of them.
So I am working on getting ready. I am making lists and tackling small jobs as I have energy to do them. I am thinking through the whole process and investigating affordable furniture options for the babies room. I am feeling like I don't have what I need and not sure where the best deals can be found. I'm just not quite ready for baby. Thankful for a few more weeks to get ready.
People ask me if I am "ready". The answer is Yes and No.
I am ready to have my body back.
I am ready to not have a little boy jumping on my bladder and kicking and waking me up at night to use the bathroom what feels like a hundred times.
I am ready to sleep on my stomach again.
I am ready to not have to remind Jaron to not hug me so hard or to be careful while around me.
I am ready to be able to wear shoes with laces again.
I am ready to put my socks and underwear and clothing on without feeling like a contortionist.
I am ready to meet this little guy and get to know him.
I am ready to see how he will fit into the family dynamic.
I am NOT ready with the baby room. So far I have a changing table dresser, pack and play bassinet and that's about it. I still need a crib and mattress and to arrange and clean the room
I am NOT ready for labor...dreading the birthing process again.
I am NOT ready with enough clothing for baby to last a week. I really need to get on this.
I am NOT ready with meals and the like....gotta plan ahead with easy to fix stuff.
I am NOT ready to juggle a newborn with the needs of an 8 year old boy and 10 year old girl. I know the big kids will be a big help but I am concerned if I will be a good mom to all of them.
So I am working on getting ready. I am making lists and tackling small jobs as I have energy to do them. I am thinking through the whole process and investigating affordable furniture options for the babies room. I am feeling like I don't have what I need and not sure where the best deals can be found. I'm just not quite ready for baby. Thankful for a few more weeks to get ready.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Step by Step
Step by step I'm getting closer to the finish line at work.
I have 3 weeks and a day left.
My belly feels like it gets bigger everyday.
The tables and chair feel like they are getting lower everyday.
The hours while constant seem to get longer everyday.
I truly think that the kids in my class are getting crazier everyday.
I'm ready to not worry about work for awhile.
I'm ready to be able to take a nap when the urge hits me.
I'm ready to get ready for baby.
Step by Step we're approaching the finish line...and the starting point of the next great adventure!
I have 3 weeks and a day left.
My belly feels like it gets bigger everyday.
The tables and chair feel like they are getting lower everyday.
The hours while constant seem to get longer everyday.
I truly think that the kids in my class are getting crazier everyday.
I'm ready to not worry about work for awhile.
I'm ready to be able to take a nap when the urge hits me.
I'm ready to get ready for baby.
Step by Step we're approaching the finish line...and the starting point of the next great adventure!
Friday, February 11, 2011
Countdown
Yesterday I moved into the 30 weeks of my pregnancy...so that means I have 10 or less weeks to go until Baby J is here....scary and exciting all at the same time...we have so much to do before he gets here and now we only have a short time to get it all done.
Today is Friday and once I leave work today I will only have 4 more weeks at my job...then I will be unemployed(again). However, this time it's our choice to not have me work and since I don't feel like my current job is a great fit I truly won't be overly sad about leaving. I will miss some of the kids and I will miss some of my coworkers but I won't miss the crazy hours or the stress of snow days, sick kids or the like. They sent out a letter on Wednesday about me leaving and most of the parents took it really well, but one is like dumbfounded that I won't be coming back after 4-6 weeks. I don't get these people sometimes.
The weather is warming up and we're in the countdown for Spring. I really didn't expect to have the winter that we have had this year...it's been insane in January and February..so much snow! The kids have had maybe one full week of school this semester...Trying to juggle work schedules, snowdays and the like has been HARD...and STRESSFUL. In 4 weeks whatever happens I will be home and able to take care of it. Until I go to the hospital to have the baby then we will add newborn stress to life...but newborns will grow up and we will just need to get a new schedule in place!
I was really upset yesterday about the snow...tears and the like...my mom is such a blessing and not only helped me to calm down but also helped me to evaluate what it is that I am truly uspet about that is making the snow days that much harder. She thought is was Fear and Anger...and she is right. I am afraid of losing my job earlier than I planned because I am afraid for how we will make it once I am not working. I am putting money aside to use when I am not working and I am afraid that if we don't have that then things will be extra hard. However, I am not TRUSTING that God can meet my every need. He says that HE will do that...but I am so fearful that I am forgetting. I'm also afraid because I was not thinking of having anymore kids. Here we are 10 weeks away from having a BABY in the house...that's scary...I'm afraid I can't do it anymore. It's terrifying in someways. I also have ANGER...I'm angry that the school I taught at last year is closed. I loved teaching there and was passionate about my work and that was taken from me, not of my choosing but someone elses. I know that God works things out and that it was a good thing to close due to situations that are coming to light now but I am still ANGRY at the selfish people who made that choice that I felt was unfair. I'm struggling through it but I see the light at the end of the tunnel...it's there...God is in Control and He will do what HE will do. Thanks Mom for making me do some Soul searching over the last day or so...I slept better than I have in awhile and I think it's because I let go of some of my Fear...felt good too!
So that's my thinking in a nutshell...this post kinda got away from me and if you made it through my ramblings and hodgepodge of thinking great. It feels good though to see it and express it in written form though...so here's to the next 4 weeks at work and the next 10 weeks(hoping for 8) before little Baby J comes!
Today is Friday and once I leave work today I will only have 4 more weeks at my job...then I will be unemployed(again). However, this time it's our choice to not have me work and since I don't feel like my current job is a great fit I truly won't be overly sad about leaving. I will miss some of the kids and I will miss some of my coworkers but I won't miss the crazy hours or the stress of snow days, sick kids or the like. They sent out a letter on Wednesday about me leaving and most of the parents took it really well, but one is like dumbfounded that I won't be coming back after 4-6 weeks. I don't get these people sometimes.
The weather is warming up and we're in the countdown for Spring. I really didn't expect to have the winter that we have had this year...it's been insane in January and February..so much snow! The kids have had maybe one full week of school this semester...Trying to juggle work schedules, snowdays and the like has been HARD...and STRESSFUL. In 4 weeks whatever happens I will be home and able to take care of it. Until I go to the hospital to have the baby then we will add newborn stress to life...but newborns will grow up and we will just need to get a new schedule in place!
I was really upset yesterday about the snow...tears and the like...my mom is such a blessing and not only helped me to calm down but also helped me to evaluate what it is that I am truly uspet about that is making the snow days that much harder. She thought is was Fear and Anger...and she is right. I am afraid of losing my job earlier than I planned because I am afraid for how we will make it once I am not working. I am putting money aside to use when I am not working and I am afraid that if we don't have that then things will be extra hard. However, I am not TRUSTING that God can meet my every need. He says that HE will do that...but I am so fearful that I am forgetting. I'm also afraid because I was not thinking of having anymore kids. Here we are 10 weeks away from having a BABY in the house...that's scary...I'm afraid I can't do it anymore. It's terrifying in someways. I also have ANGER...I'm angry that the school I taught at last year is closed. I loved teaching there and was passionate about my work and that was taken from me, not of my choosing but someone elses. I know that God works things out and that it was a good thing to close due to situations that are coming to light now but I am still ANGRY at the selfish people who made that choice that I felt was unfair. I'm struggling through it but I see the light at the end of the tunnel...it's there...God is in Control and He will do what HE will do. Thanks Mom for making me do some Soul searching over the last day or so...I slept better than I have in awhile and I think it's because I let go of some of my Fear...felt good too!
So that's my thinking in a nutshell...this post kinda got away from me and if you made it through my ramblings and hodgepodge of thinking great. It feels good though to see it and express it in written form though...so here's to the next 4 weeks at work and the next 10 weeks(hoping for 8) before little Baby J comes!
Monday, December 6, 2010
ugh...ugh...ugh...
that's me grunting like a caveman.
I was up for about 2 hours last night with gastrointestinal distress.
I was glad when it passed.
I did get some sleep but I am quite tired this morning.
On a completely different note...
my oldest and youngest seemed to switch places this morning.
Janea was all about getting up and ready and Jaron was being a little slothlike this morning...usually it's the other way around.
I just realized Jaron really isn't the youngest anymore...I'll have to find something different to call him...
Went shopping online for baby bedding...it's stinkin expensive! I don't know what we are going to do...I just know I am not spending a ton on bedding that the kid probably won't even appreciate....just so I can have a cute room for him.
We think we have a name...and I am being outvoted...the kids LOVE it...Dan likes it and I guess I will have to get used to it...Janea and Jaron are already calling him by this name so I guess that's that!
Dan's been sick all weekend...he's been like a hibernating bear...staying indoors, grunting alot, sneezing and coughing...I feel bad for him...he's been kinda out of it this weekend. He's off to work today and I hope he feels okay.
Jaron's better...just a virus I guess...but he did enjoy getting to go to my sonogram with me and my Mom.
Well, the baby is kicking and I just realized I gotta get my lunch ready for work...off I go...
I was up for about 2 hours last night with gastrointestinal distress.
I was glad when it passed.
I did get some sleep but I am quite tired this morning.
On a completely different note...
my oldest and youngest seemed to switch places this morning.
Janea was all about getting up and ready and Jaron was being a little slothlike this morning...usually it's the other way around.
I just realized Jaron really isn't the youngest anymore...I'll have to find something different to call him...
Went shopping online for baby bedding...it's stinkin expensive! I don't know what we are going to do...I just know I am not spending a ton on bedding that the kid probably won't even appreciate....just so I can have a cute room for him.
We think we have a name...and I am being outvoted...the kids LOVE it...Dan likes it and I guess I will have to get used to it...Janea and Jaron are already calling him by this name so I guess that's that!
Dan's been sick all weekend...he's been like a hibernating bear...staying indoors, grunting alot, sneezing and coughing...I feel bad for him...he's been kinda out of it this weekend. He's off to work today and I hope he feels okay.
Jaron's better...just a virus I guess...but he did enjoy getting to go to my sonogram with me and my Mom.
Well, the baby is kicking and I just realized I gotta get my lunch ready for work...off I go...
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