Happy New Year!

Wow! I can't believe it is 2011 already!

2010 was a rough year for me...a good year filled with many good things. However, at the same time 2010 has been a year of changes for me...here are some of the changes from 2010.

1. JOB My school closed...so I went job hunting...to a job that I really don't like...it's hard to go from a job that is your passion to one you just tolerate!

2. HOUSING--okay this one is a good change...we bought a house this past year! I love my house and all our space! It's a GREAT change... but with the house comes different bills and a mortgage payment that is a bit higher than our previous rent payment.

3. BABY!!!--the biggest and I think most mindboggling thing to me is that fact that I am PREGNANT...8 years after thinking I was done we are being blessed with another addition to the family. This pregnancy and working the hours that I do is also very hard on me physically. I am still in a sense of HUH?? alot...even with an independently moving belly!

So I've been thinking of goals and things for the upcoming year as I have a fresh slate as it were ahead of me...so here's what I am thinking.

1. Budgeting...we took the Dave Ramsey course at church this past fall and it's given us the tools to use to make sure we are being good stewards of all God is giving us...now we need to apply it and live within a monthly budget...we are getting better but there is still room for improvement.

2. Baby...to have a good and safe delivery. To adjust and welcome this new little one into our family with no reservations and hopefully everything we need!

3. Kiddos...to help Jaron through the adjustment of changing schools next year, to being the best mom I can be to 3 kids not just 2. To balance the emotional needs of each child at each of the developmental levels that they will be at.

4. My Marriage...to continue to be the help that Dan needs...to realize that he is a good willed person and I just need to understand that men and women are different...to appreciate all that he does and not focus on the things that I think he isn't doing for me...to love and meet his needs whatever they are...to listen and relate and share what we are feeling together.

5. JOB--To find a new job in the fall or be a stay at home mom...I am most likely going to be leaving my current position in March. I don't feel like it is a good fit for me nor do I feel like they understand where I am coming from and the hours are not good for the family. SO I will take a good chunk of time off to have the baby and adjust to life and then hopefully find a better position for next year.

So that's where I am at this January 1, 2011. It was a good year in many ways in 2010 and yet I have room to grow and develop as 2011 unfolds...so adios 2010...welcome 2011

Christmas Vacation...How I miss you

I miss getting days off between Christmas and New Years.

I miss the time to recharge my batteries.

I miss hanging out with my kids enjoying things we got for Christmas.

I miss it.

I really do.

*Sigh*

Silent Night

We had a very meaningful service at church tonight.

Sang my favorite hymn in the dark by candlelight.

It makes me cry to think of a tiny baby born to die for us.

I love Christmas and the beauty of the Candlelight and the meaning of it all.

Christmas Spirit

I've been feeling a little Grinchy this Christmas.

I work with kids who get everything they want. Their parents spend more on childcare in a month than we spend on our mortgage payment. They have no concept of not having their basic needs met...and it's left me not feeling the most cheerful.

We celebrated the HOLIDAYs at school...couldn't leave any holiday out and yet in reality we left out Christmas. We did the trees, snowmen, stockings, wreaths but the True meaning of Christmas the giving of a Savior...that wasn't talked about at all...was even frowned upon.

Dan and I have never done Santa with our kids...they know that there was a man named St. Nicholaus who gave presents to those less fortunate but they know that he was a man. This man loved GOD and wanted to show God's love by giving to others. There is no man in a big red suit who lives at the North Pole and gives presents to good girls and boys with his magic reindeer. We watch the movies because they are fun and cute but my kids know there is nothing real about it.

Today my focus is on the Saviour coming to give the ultimate gift. The light of the World. My focus will be on giving to others because I have been given so much. My focus will be on others and not self.

The Avatar and a Sleeping Daddy

What I hear...

right now...

the cartoon Avatar playing on TV...

Dan snoring...

it's a cold and sleepy night!

Wiggly Belly

My belly can move on its own.

It jumps and launches.

It's the weirdest sensation.

It's even had the hiccups

It keeps getting bigger.

It's really firm too.

I have my own little shelf!

"Holiday" Program

We're having our "Holiday" program tomorrow...not a Christmas Program a Holiday Program.

The kids will sing Christmas songs...about Santa, Trees, and Bells...no nativity at all.
We will sing a Hanukah song...no baby Jesus in the manger.

A "holiday" a time where kids get lots of stuff but miss the one thing that they really need...and I can't really talk about it...I read a book about the Baby in the Manger today and not one of my kids could tell me what that meant...

I'm missing the joy of Christmas and the celebration of the Birth of a Savior...where I work it's all Santa and stuff...no joy...just stuff.

It's really Sad...and empy feeling...I'm thankful that I have joy in my CHRISTMAS...its more than just a Holiday!

Pictures from the weekend

Here's my view as I look down at my ever expanding belly!Our beautiful Christmas Tree!
My Mantel all decorated for Christmas and lit up!

The mantel not light up...still pretty!

Working Momma Woes

I'm a working Mom.

I've been a working mom for most of my kids lives and for the most part it works for us.

It wasn't working this morning.

I had a big ol helping of Momma Guilt...over my current work hours.

I've been blessed in the past to have job hours conducive to school hours. Also I have had the privilige of having my children in the same school where I teach. This is no longer the case.

The kids are now home before me...way before me.

Janea really doesn't like my hours or having a babysitter in the house...She does love our babysitter but it's not the same as having mom home.

She laid the hurt down pretty hard this morning.

My feelings were very hurt, and the wound of working late was very raw this morning.

I'll admit it, I broke, cried, and wanted to do nothing more than quit...but I didn't quit.

I will be able to quit around the time of the baby but for now I am where I am. With lousy hours...that are hard, but we will make them work. I'm blessed to have a job...even when the blessing doesn't seem that great

ugh...ugh...ugh...

that's me grunting like a caveman.

I was up for about 2 hours last night with gastrointestinal distress.

I was glad when it passed.

I did get some sleep but I am quite tired this morning.

On a completely different note...
my oldest and youngest seemed to switch places this morning.
Janea was all about getting up and ready and Jaron was being a little slothlike this morning...usually it's the other way around.

I just realized Jaron really isn't the youngest anymore...I'll have to find something different to call him...

Went shopping online for baby bedding...it's stinkin expensive! I don't know what we are going to do...I just know I am not spending a ton on bedding that the kid probably won't even appreciate....just so I can have a cute room for him.

We think we have a name...and I am being outvoted...the kids LOVE it...Dan likes it and I guess I will have to get used to it...Janea and Jaron are already calling him by this name so I guess that's that!

Dan's been sick all weekend...he's been like a hibernating bear...staying indoors, grunting alot, sneezing and coughing...I feel bad for him...he's been kinda out of it this weekend. He's off to work today and I hope he feels okay.

Jaron's better...just a virus I guess...but he did enjoy getting to go to my sonogram with me and my Mom.

Well, the baby is kicking and I just realized I gotta get my lunch ready for work...off I go...

Outnumbered

Janea and I soon will be outnumbered. The male population will be increasing in April....the results of the sonogram is.....

BOY!!!!!

I will try to post pictures soon...need to scan them in on my parents computer...we don't have a scanner!

Thanks I needed That!

I've not been feeling real good this week.

I've been tired, crabby, not sleeping really well, and just feeling blah!

I won't call in sick for general yuckiness or anything...that isn't what sick days are for. Plus, I don't want to take advantage of my works generosity in giving time off. And they are good about trying to be accomodating for doctor's appointments or stuff like that. I did really want to call in and just have a chill day but I couldn't justify it and I wasn't really sick and if I called in sick that would be lying and that is wrong.

Jaron got sick this week. Out of the blue. Fever, coughing, ear goop, the whole nine yards! So I called in to stay home with him...a valid reason to stay home! So Jaron...thanks for getting sick! It was nice to have a day off yesterday and a morning off today...I think I needed it...I'm feeling more rested and not as yucky!

Is it wrong to be thankful for sick children?

Halfway There!

So I am 20 weeks today.

A "normal" pregnancy is 40 weeks...this means that today I hit the halfway mark for the baby!

However my two previous pregnancies ended at 38 and 37 weeks.

So I'm over halfway there!

Tomorrow is our Ultrasound to find out the growth of the baby and how it's doing...tomorrow I hope to know if the "it" is a boy or a girl. We'll be happy with whatever comes...It's getting a little bit more real. Baby J was being Ninja baby this morning!

I'm still in shock that I am pregnant!

Thanksgiving Break

We hosted my family for the first time in 7 years! I was nervous about the day but it went very smoothly. The meal was yummy, the conversation good and the table looked pretty!

The afternoon was spent cleaning the kitchen, my family getting to check out the new house and with a group game on the Wii.

It was a delightful Day!

Friday my mom, sister and I went shopping. We weren't searching for any Doorbusters but got some good Early Bird specials. I picked up some much needed new maternity clothes which makes for more comfortable dressing...plus I feel like I look much better in clothes that fit my changing frame.

Saturday was spent cleaning my bedroom. I made some major progress putting clothing away in drawers though most of mine are going into storage for awhile because it's depressing to have stuff not fit. Saturday afternoon Dan began working on Jaron's room in the basement. He made major progress and worked hard even while I was gone to an engagement party for a friends daughter. I had a lovely time catching up with friends and Dan got so much done. I will post pictures very soon...on all the stuff that happened this weekend.

I enjoyed my time off from work so much and I am not really looking forward to going back tomorrow but Holiday's are a short time and reality sets back in. It's all good. I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving Season!

The neverending feeling

I hate moving because it seems like you are working FOREVER to get everything into boxes.

I hate moving because it seems like you are working FOREVER to unpack all of the packed boxes....

It seems like a neverending cycle! I know this too shall pass but when your in the middle of it all it's craziness!

Aaahhh...

That's the sigh of relief from me...

I am done working until Monday....and boy am I glad!

Tomorrow, we are cooking and hosting my family for Thanksgiving. Looking forward to it.
Tonight I am going to hang out and relax....hoping for a better nights sleep tonight.

Thankful for Thanksgiving and getting to relax at home!

Thankfulness

Jaron had a to write what he is thankful for in school last week. I found the following in his Friday folder:

"I am thankful for many things. I'm thankful for God. Without him you will be nothing. I'm thankful for school. It helps me learn alot of things like math. I am thankful for all that I have."

I love that he is thankful!

Blessings

Family is a blessing.

We received a special blessing in the form of a housewarming gift from Dan's Aunt Naomi. She sent us a generous gift and the added blessing of family memories. It's wonderful to have people who love us so much and are so generous to us. Dan made it a point to purchase lasting durable goods and upgrades for the house such as a programmable thermostat, rugs, shelving, etc. Thank you Aunt Naomi we will be sending you pictures of the kids and house soon.

So weird

So I'm feeling the baby and its not kicking per se....its more like a giant lump of Jello jiggling in my stomach...I don't remember this feeling with the other kids....I am starting to feel kicks and movements but the constant jiggling is kinda creepy in a weird way!

Mornings

Mornings are an interesting time at our house.

During the work week, Dan is the first one up and getting ready for work. He is out the door by 7:00 in the morning...often earlier. I wake up at the same time as him but due to my work schedule I don't have to fight him for the bathroom or anything so I just relax and hang out and get ready for my day. The weekends are different, as I often get up before Dan and he stays in bed longer than me!

Jaron's alarm clock goes off at 6:45...no matter what day of the week. He hasn't figured out yet that you can TURN IT OFF on Saturdays and Sundays! He turns the alarm off and then he is out of bed...often moving to the living room and hanging out there before he gets ready for school or church. He is a morning person I guess...about half an hour after he wakes up he is ready for breakfast! His morning routine is predictable and comfortable for him!

Janea on the other hand...is approaching teendom. She could sleep for a year! I often have to wake her up because she has turned her alarm clock OFF...and rolled over to go back to sleep! She is the one that I have to prompt and prod to get out of the bed...one I have to remind to get dressed and inform that we are leaving sooner than she thinks! It's challenging but I will say that she does get up when told and she hasn't yet missed the bus or anything because of oversleeping!

And then theres me...lately I can't sleep much past 5:45. I am either starving or really needing the bathroom and then I can't fall back asleep! So I am up early these days! I guess its good training for when the baby comes!