BUSY

So I am  busy right now.

Super Busy...you know the kind, lots of stuff going on, lots of programs for the kids, lots of places to go, lots to do...BUSY.

I'm rushing here, I'm trying to do this, I'm trying to finish that, I'm going so fast I don't know if I am coming or going.  I'm BUSY.   And it's not the good kind of busy...some of it is, other is not.

I've got stuff for my class at my school:

• Mother's Day Projects
• Finishing Portfolios
• Finishing Lesson Plans
• Finalizing Summer Stuff
• Keeping up the the Schedule
• Parent Teacher Conferences

I've got stuff for the Big kids

• Janea's in drama, so that means play practice, chauffeuring her to rehearsals, late pickups from school, Saturday workdays
• Jaron will have a 504 meeting for some issues he is having and that means taking time off work and finding childcare
• Youth Group
• Last nights at Awana
• Going on a weekend with Grandma and Grandpa
• Projects, Map Testing and Finals

I've got stuff with Jayden

• Muffins with Mom
• Parkwood Sunday
• Well baby checkups and special outings to the park

I need time with the hubby but we are currently juggling all the little stuff.

It's busy...and I feel like I am failing.

But I'm not,

I'm making the time, I'm trying to meet the needs of the family.

I'm a little stressed but I am trying to prioritze and make sure that the important stuff gets done, that I am meeting all the needs of the emotions and not just focusing on the checklist.  It's hard, but I am doing it.

So we are Busy...and we will make it to SUMMER!!!  Only a few weeks left!

31 days and Counting

Can you believe that January is over?

I can't, I mean this month has flown by.  Tomorrow is the first day of February and so it's time to evaluate my goals.

Some questions that I have asked myself today, as I thought about what I should write. 

Have I made progress?  Yes,

I feel that I am making good progress on where my focus needs to be.  I need to live in the moment, to chose to look on the positive and not get caught up in the wrongness of things.  I need to embrace life and not get bogged down or obsessed when I am not doing the right thing.

Am I still in the same place?  No,

When the new year started I was in a low place.  I'm moving up the mountain, I'm not at the top by any means and I slip down from time to time but I'm emotionally feeling better, I'm also not as tired.  The toddler is sleeping much better and that is helping in so many ways!  

I've also experienced some good changes at work this month.  I am back to working 40 hours a week(38.5 after breaks)  and a new classroom.  So far, it seems to be a good fit and I am having fun bringing things in the classroom and trying to play dynamic lessons...I will have to blog about the stressful year I had at the beginning and how this is much better but this is not the time or place...

What do I still need to work on?

Everything!

I haven't mastered any of it yet.  It's very easy for me to slip back into the pettiness of it all, to that place where I don't like who I am.  That selfish state of being and wanting everything to go my way and to be magically fixed.

What is my goal for the upcoming month?

Love.

Love is my goal for February...I think it is fitting with Valentines Day and all.  

I want my family to feel and understand that I love them for who they are, not what they do for me.  I need to be an example of love to my husband and the kids.  I need to appreciate them and show them love.

Sometimes I am not the most loving and I need to work on this.  To love without condition, without strings attached.  To show love and be loved in return, to have a selfless love the way God loves me.  Love is important and it is my goal for the upcoming month.

How about you friends? 

Has January been an uplifting month?

Have you made progress on your goals?

Please feel free to comment or encourage as we endeavor to make 2013 a great year!

The Unexpected You Didn't Know You Needed

Ever had that moment when you can't believe something has happened?  

Totally unexpected and scary?  

That moment when you say...no this is wrong, this can't be happening.

I've had them...2 really stand out for me...and those are the moments when I found out I was having my first and third child.

I'm "Miss I Gotta Plan" at least that's what the Husband calls me.  See, when we met I had a plan and marriage and children weren't in them...I mean I wanted to get married and I wanted kids just not till further down the road.

Well, I met Dan, and within a year we were married.  It was fine, this could work with my plan...no big deal, right?  We talked kids but thought after 3 or 4 years of marriage...good plan right...no, not the plan God had for us, we were pregnant in 3 months...yes I said months, and Janea was born 18 days of our first anniversary.

She was unexpected...especially since I didn't know gender and I was convinced she was a boy...but she was needed.

God knew I needed a daughter.  He knew I needed that person who would push my buttons, who would challenge me to stay on my toes as her mother.  He knew I needed a daughter so I could see what type of child I was for my parents, He knew I needed her to help make me humbler.  I needed Janea, I didn't know it at the time but I did and I do and I am thankful for her.

Fast forward nearly 10 years.  I like to say I don't make long term plans, just short term ones...but I thought I was done having kids.  I had my girl, Janea,  I had my boy, Jaron, and I was approaching a great point in motherhood, it had gotten easier again.  The kids were very self-sufficient, behaved well in public, and we had fun hanging out with them.  It was a great place to be...I was job hunting again due to a school closing and I was just tired....thought it was stress then realized something...

Yup, pregnant!  I couldn't believe it...why now?  Why?  I was devastated and frustrated.  I couldn't believe this was happening.  

Pregnancy is a lot harder in your 30's than in your 20's!  I was overwhelmed, stressed and unsure of what was going to happen.  But here came Jayden...

I'm still trying to figure him out.  I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I have 3 kids and one of them is a toddler!  It's challenging.  But I know that God never gives us something we don't need or something that He doesn't have a plan for.  I just don't know what the plan is...I don't know why he decided to bless us with another little person.  I just need to raise him to know God.

I won't lie, motherhood is hard and tough and sometimes I want to throw in the towel and move to Tahiti!  Especially on long nights with sick kids or kids who are not sleeping.     I'm still trying to figure out how to be the best mom to all my kids....it's a challenge.

I've been working on my attitude and embracing fun things with my kids...

Some new joys with Jayden include:
watching Yo Gabba Gabba with him
giggles and hugs and tickles and him asking for more!
Asking about his day at school and having him respond more and more.
Seeing him enjoy and interact with his toys and siblings!

Some fun with the big kids include:
Nerf gun wars,
Big kid movies and books
Long conversations about important things.
Having them help more around the house without me nagging them!

It's all about knowing that even though things are unexpected, the One who sends them to you is never, ever surprised!

The Art of a Deal

I'm working on having the big kids help more around the house. 

I'm offering not only to pay them but also I'm negotiating with them.  That really is working for the 10 year old...I mean, he is setting tables with me not even having to ask right now...I'm hoping this lasts!

I'm offering trades...one of the chores they don't like for something that I do...an even exchange as it were.  

The firstborn hates....I mean HATES....to load and unload the dishwasher...I don't get it...I used to wash all the dishes by HAND...she has it easy peasy lemon squeezy compared to my time.  I don't mind that...but I hate doing other things...so I have offered her a trade.  She picks one of my chores and does it willingly in exchange for me not having her load and unload the dishwasher!  

I'm hoping it works...she is still thinking about her trade item.  We will see what happens.  If this works I may negotiate for other items.  

I want them to help but I am tired of nagging them...hopefully this will make it easier for everyone.

Conquering Today

It's all about the Today of it all.

That's what I am working for and working on.  The enjoyment of Today!

Today is...

now

here

real

present

achievable

conceivable

doable

necessary

So I am conquering Today.

In little ways, with small changes, finding peace in the decisions I make and the responsibilities that I face.

Ways I have conquered today:

Joy...put a smile on and embrace happy.  Find things that you can smile about even though you want to scream, pout, or cry!  

Sing a Silly Song...if something isn't working, sing a song about it and it might change.  It doesn't have to be a pretty song or make sense sometimes singing just makes it all better!

Dance  if you hear a beat, feel a rhythm do a little dance...I have the worst dance moves but it can be a stress relief and make it all better!

Take a deep breathe....like I say to my students..."Smell the popcorn, blow out the candle"  in other words "in through the nose, out through the mouth!"

Put on your big girl panties and just deal...sometimes you just can't fix it...oh well, don't let it absorb you!

So I let today happen, I smiled, I laughed I enjoyed.  And it was good.  I also gave some random high fives and tried to be an encouragement rather than a downer.

So today was good.  And I liked it.

I cooked food I enjoyed for dinner from no recipe and it wasn't bad, and I have leftover rice for lunch.

I took a break at work and read a book in a comfy chair and enjoyed a small snack.  An easy 15 minute recharge.

I stopped sweating the small stuff and just took responsibility and made notes for the future.  And it will be okay.

I'm getting ready to end the day and I am feeling pretty good.  I like that!  

Thanks be to God for a good day!

Saying Goodbye

Jayden and his 3 adopted sisters from Miss Maria's house!

We were so blessed to have Jayden is a wonderful home daycare situation from the time I went back to work.  My school starts at 12 months and walking and so we knew the day would come when he would leave her care and go to Parkwood Day School with me.  That was the beginning of this month.  Jayden had his last day of care with Maria on August 3rd.  We miss her and her family very much.

Toddler Grunting

Jayden is at that phase where he knows what he wants but he doesn't yet have the language to tell you what he wants.  That being the case we have a whole lot of pointing and grunting going on.  Right now he points and says...uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh, which I think means...oh look I like that can I have it...throw in a few his some babbling and that is our language attempts. 

I am trying to put meaning to the words and grunts he makes to make communication better.  Some that I can decipher....

"nuh"--with lip smacking...means nurse....we are working on weaning but not there yet.

pointing and smacking and grunting at fridge....means I want some food.

ough...means outside.

ba...bath

other words he says regularly

mama---mom

da da---means he's looking for Dan

da-dee--what he says to Dan and about him.

A New Phase of Life

Janea has joined the youth group!  I can't believe that she is now old enough to be a member of the youth group.  I can't believe she is going to be in 7th grade!
We have now entered the years of youth activities, nighttime activities and busier schedules!

Where did my little girl go?  I can't believe she is getting so be so grown up!

Let Him Eat Cake

High Five for the Birthday Buddies!

First taste of his cake!

MMMMMmmm this is yummy!

Am I messy???

Jayden certainly enjoyed eating his first taste of Birthday cake.  I had planned on making him a gorgeous little cake for his birthday....didn't happen I am definitely not a cake decorator!  That didn't stop us from letting him eat my pathetic attempt at a cake and he certainly enjoyed it.  Happy Birthday Baby!

Magnet Fun

I was going to write a really profound post on how fast this year seems to be zipping by...but I'm not now.  No, I've been distracted by my 10 month soon to be 11 month old.  He is currently sitting on the kitchen floor with a shoebox full of magnet and he is having the time of his life!  So many colors, pieces and things to do!  Is it going to be a mess...probably, does it worry me, not really...is it keeping him occupied...definitely and that's a good thing.

Jayden is a busy, busy boy.  I've forgotten this phase of life.  My older kids are busy but now you can direct that into other stuff.  Right now Jaron is playing a new Wii game and Janea is off entertaining herself in her room listening to the radio and either reading or working on a project and that is good.  It's nice to have a minute of peace where he is entertaining himself and not looking for attention.  So later we will pick up the magnets and get them out again later. 

I love my kids, but I do get tired of having to keep someone busy all the time.  Oh, gotta go....Jayden is now done with the magnets....

Jayden Eats Spaghetti

We have started eating table food and I introduced Jayden to spaghetti.

He seemed to like it.  Sorry if I am a little loud in the video

9 months old

Alternatively titled Better late than never.  I tried to get our bear shot on the day he was nine months old...didn't happen, the picture of him arching his back and crying....pretty much sums up the photo shoot.  I was going to take his picture a few days later....and then he caught a cold and was very uncooperative...so on the 25th...15 days after turning 9 months old we got the shot....so much harder to take now....but I think we got a good one!

Some stats and Facts:

Still not sleeping through the night.
Pulling up on EVERYTHING!!!  Too chicken to let go though
Moved up to Size 4 diapers
Loves to eat and really likes yogurt, yogurt bites, apples, fruit and goldfish crackers
Around 23-25 pounds depending on the day
Happy and Smiley
saying BABABA, DADADADA and other sounds
Waving at EVERYBODY!!!

8 Month's Old

It's Getting harder to get Jayden's picture every months sitting next to his bear!  He is a wiggling, giggling, squirming, crawling, exploring machine!  But here is our cutie before the Chicken Pox!

Some Stats and Facts for 8 Month's Old

• Full on Crawling
• 24.5 pounds and 30 inches long!
• Blueberry Yogurt is one of our favorite foods
• Learning how to wave hi and bye....or just for fun...we wave alot!
• Starting to pull ourself to standing!
• Screams for attention, fun and at people when shopping!
• Loves to be where the action is
• Able to find the smallest spot and then try to crawl through it and finds ourself getting stuck!
• Finally sleeping more consistently and only waking up typically once at night!~(Mommy is very grateful for this one!)
• A true joy to the family!

Fall Leaf Fun

Digital collage created with Smilebox

6 months old!

Look I pulled him over!  FUNNY STUFF!

Aren't I a big and happy boy!

These are my toes and I love them!

Look Mommy I'm helping you put away the groceries!

These are my diapers....mine!

Jayden turned 6 months old on Monday!  Wow Time is sure moving fast!  At 6 months he is

• rolling over both ways
• army crawling and scootching
• giggling, laughing and playful
• eating solid foods
• sitting up for long stretches without assistance
• thouroughly enjoying the great outdoors
• sleeping for longer 6-8 hour stretches(PTL!)
• around 22 pounds and super long
• wearing 12 month old clothes!

He truly is a joy and blessing to our lives!

Job Update

I'm officially back to work after taking almost 7 months off!

It's been a good first week, I'm still learning the ropes, we have a HUGE class...like over 15 every day.  That is both a good and bad thing...it's good because there is lots to do, stuff to learn and all...it's bad because today we had 22 kids and it was CRAZY!!!!  Looks like Wednesdays are the highest day of the week.

Baby is doing good at the babysitter...she loves him to pieces and so do her girls...so I am happy about that...and Jayden is taking bottles like a champ and I am able to pump at work and I am producing a good supply to take the next day...also good!

I'm excited to see what the upcoming months hold...learning the routine and working hard...so if I blog a little less that's why...

Waiting is Over

God has supplied the best job for me at the best time and I am excited about the upcoming adventure!

I get to teach my favorite age group!

I get hours that work well for my family!

While Jayden can't go yet there is the opportunity for him to go soon and I have a great home sitter lined up for him at a very good rate!

I am thankful for being able to be home for 5 months and I am looking forward to the next adventure!

Thank you God!

With A Grunt Grunt Here

Baby Jayden is learning to crawl...EIEIO and as he learns he likes to GRUNT!!! EIEIO

With a grunt grunt here

And a Grunt Grunt there

Here a grunt

There a  grunt

Everywhere a GRUNT GRUNT

Baby Jayden is LEARNING To crawl...but he isn't quite there yet!

Growing Up Is Hard to Do

Jayden had another first this week!

He has cut his first tooth.

On his 4 month birthday! 

It's been quite the experience!

New Things

Baby J is officially out of the "Slug Phase" that what we call the time when baby doesn't do a whole lot, but eat, sleep and poop!  We have progressed from this.

He started with smiles. He is very good at smiling.  He has been doing this for about 9 weeks...and we like it!  But now are smiles are bigger and better for people he really knows...like Daddy, Mommy and my siblings.

Baby J can reach and grab things...mostly things like hair but now he can get the toys that are in front of him and get them to our mouth.  If laid on a blanket he tries to get the toys that are in front of him! He also enjoys standing in the exersaucer we are borrowing from a friend and reaching and manipulating the toys there!  All toys will eventually end up in the mouth!

Jayden is also now rolling over!  Much to mama's chagrin since he rolls over in the middle of the night!  This scares and wakes him up! He can rolls easily from tummy to back, back to side and occasionally from side to tummy!  We are very proud of him.

Scooting is a challenge but we are trying really really hard to master this!  He really wants to be able to keep up with the big kids and I know once he starts moving forward there will be no stopping this little guy!