Re-Inventions

Wow!  Here it is 2013 and I have a new year ahead of me.

I have a blank calendar, a blank slate as it were to fill with my life.  I've been pondering this over the last few days:

What do I want this year to look like?  

What do I want to change?  

What do I NEED to change?

What will my focus for the year be?

I've been struggling recently, really struggling.  My focus has been shifted, my mood low, I'll admit it, I'm in a Valley...a deep valley, a dark valley at times.  It's been painful, and I have been not the nicest or loving person to my family.  I've been very focused on ME.  I've been very focused on the WHY ME's, "why isn't my life better, why doesn't anyone help me. why doesn't anyone take care of me".  Selfish isn't it, and yet sometimes I feel like I am justified in my thinking.  

This is my yard as the kids were building snowmen yesterday....really not pretty, this is how I've been feeling lately, really not pretty...run over as it were.

I take care of the household, I take care of the bills, I get up every night with a toddler who somehow forgot how to sleep all night 3 months ago...sometimes he's up once, sometimes he's up twice, if I am really unlucky I end up sleeping with him.  I do what feels like everything...and I'm tired.  

I'm tired.  That's the truth, I am emotionally, spiritually and physically tired.  Like I said, I'm in a low place...but I am going to be climbing the mountain.  I'm going to get out of this valley.  I'm going to change my focus.

Today is the first day of a new year and a good way to look ahead...Forward as it were....I need to put the past in the past and stop dragging it out and wallowing over it.  I can't change it, I can't, it's in the past...I can only work on TODAY.  Today is where I am...the present.  I can look ahead to the future but what I am doing TODAY is what will impact the future.  I have no perfect crystal ball that will show me what the future holds.  I'm not to worry about tomorrow, I'm not to fret about yesterday, I need to focus on TODAY!.  I need to look for the good and happy things in today.  I need to relish the small things and not get too caught up in the I wishes, the I needs, the why's of it all.  I need to be CONTENT.

I've claimed a passage of Scripture for the year.  It's going to be a tough one to follow but I believe it is a necessary one.  I took it out of my favorite book in the Bible.   I feel like this book is written for me...it's the book of Philippians.  It's a book about Joy and Rejoicing in what the Lord has done for us.  Too often I get focused on the bad and not look at the good, and it affects how people look at me and the impact I have on those around me.  I'm going to focus and work to fulfill this simple command...
  "Do all things without grumbling or disputing so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God about reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation among whom you appear as lights in the world."

Easy enough huh....hah!  I'm a champion when it comes to complaining!  I'm the queen bee as it were...but not anymore...I'm going to look at enjoying life again!

Will you join me on my journey?  Will you choose like me to put the ugly and selfish behind us and focus on the Forward Journey of Today.   Will you look for things to be happy about?  Things for which to be thankful and find meaning even in the menial, small, overlooked tasks.  

Come and join me, it may not be an easy journey but I am praying that it will be a meaningful one.

It snowed yesterday....a really pretty snow...covering the brown and dead things in the yard...a nice focus on New Years Eve.

Registering

So I am trying to register for Baby J.

My friends at church are being generous and hosting a shower for me. The only problem is I don't know what to register for.

There are so many choices and when you try and do it online you don't know a store item from a online item and wow I spent over an hour today and maybe registered for like 10 thing...most of them baby towels...those I know I'll need!

So I have posted for help on Facebook and now I'm posting for help here...what types of things do I need.

I have:
pack and play
swing
bedding set
some flannel receiving blankets
some diapers and wipes
working on carseat...trying to get a really good deal from Diapers.com

I know I will need more diapers, wipes and the like...pretty familiar with brands too since I work in childcare...but I need ideas for other things I may need. I'm really out of touch with the baby side of things and I get really overwhelmed.

Thanks for the input...I can really use it!

What to do??

Okay, here's the deal...what type of carseat should we get for the new baby.

Our options for infants are a Carrier type for early on and the Convertible carseat.

I'm torn really between the two. We did use a carrier for the older two kids and it worked very well until they were like 4 months old, then it was heavy, awkward and a pain and we would go and get a convertible seat.

The convertible seat would work from birth to probably around 3. They are more cost effective but then you have the hassle of needing to carry them around, but since I am thinking about using a wrap or a sling anyway it would probably not be as big a hassle...I could have hands free movement in stores or at church and not be lugging an additional 20 pounds of carseat around with me. Plus we have the big kids to help us carry stuff...and a good stoller would work too.

I could really use some other's opinions about what works for you and your thoughts regarding car seats.

A Few Questions

Question #1: Why is it that I have to write out the schedule for everyone and no one else can keep track of it?

Question #2: Why don't I feel good today?

Question #3: Is it wrong to eat Reeces Pieces for a mid morning snack on your way to work?

Question #4: Am I a bad mom for not making the boy wear a coat to school since he left his good coat at school yesterday afternoon and refused to put on his not good coat?

Question #5: Why do I have to go to work today? Can't I just stay home and rest and sleep?

Just Wondering???

Why did God make flies???

I don't know the answer to this one...but honestly Why???

They are gross, annoying, and weird...and one is buzzing around the kitchen right now and driving me CRAZY....

Flies, cockroaches, and other disgusting things....I love the beauty of God's Creation, I love the intricacies I see around me...but seriously...why Flies and gross things???

Why Wednesday?

Explain to me why Wednesday's that I am planning on going to AWANA turn out to be the craziest, most hectic days for me?

I'm exhausted and we have Sparks tonight.

I think their are forces at work that cause little children to be rowdier, more hyper and just little monsters on Wednesdays because they don't want me to be 100% for church tonight.

Well, they aren't going to win...I can take them! And I'll be at AWANA tonight too!

I Just Dont' Get It

Why do children tattle ALL the time? Do they think I need to know that Jimmy just ate a booger and they think its gross? Do I really care that Susie looked at Sally funny? I just don't get it...at all...it makes me tired!

Why do weather people get you all excited about the weather and stressed and then they are ALWAYS super wrong? They predict BIG SNOW...you get no snow...they predict little snow you get a FOOT! Why must we play God and try to control the weather....I just don't get it.! Why do I fall for all the hooopla every year as well....I don't get that either!

Why does my back hurt when I sleep, why do my feet hurt when I sing, why does my head hurt when I stand??? Shouldn't my head hurt from thinking, my throat from singing and sleeping make all the stuff go away??? I just don't get it!

Why do some mothers dress their kids in like 50 layers and then the day is warm and the parents show up in short sleeves and they still make their kids wear a thick coat and a hat??? They can run around in summer clothes but their kids can't??? I just don't get it???

Why do little kids tell you all day long they are tired and yet when given the opportunity to rest and relax and sleep they fight sleep with every fiber of their little selves??? I just don't get it.

I'm sitting here shaking my head and pondering these pointless questions...why...I don't know I guess I just don't get it!

SO Weird

These are the strangest popscicles I have ever eaten in my entire life. We frequently buy popscicles and last time we chose this type. The flavor is good but they have this gummy tip that is disgusting. It's frozen and yucky...the good thing...you can bite it off and spit it out...now my question is this...why ruin a perfectly good popscicle by adding a gummy candy tip?

Oh joy...

We have an ant infestation...a few other buggies...and Dan is pretty sure something is alive in the vents....now I get to be an exterminator...if you have any advice on what to do please let me know since I am a wee bit squeemish when it comes to rodents.. And no cats...i hate them with a passion!

Thanks!

A lot on my mind

Have you ever been confused or perplexed? Do you ever question what your initial plans were and think about what needs to be done? I am so there right now.

Here's my predicament:

Dan and I are approaching our 10th wedding anniversary. When we got married we had planned to go to the Outer Banks of North Carolina for our honeymoon. About 4 months before our wedding Dan got a better paying job working at a manufacturing plant. Due to being a new hire he did not have accumulated vacation time and so we changed our plans. Instead of a week long trip to NC we went to a Geneva Illinois for a longer weekend. We had a nice time and enjoyed ourselves. We decided we would go to the Outer Banks for our first anniversary. Fast forward to October of 1999. I'm feeling strange, not normal, and so we decide to take a pregnancy test...it's positive! So we're due 4 days before our anniversary! Janea was actually born 18 days before our first anniversary but there was no way we could travel and leave a newborn! So we decided to wait until our 5th or 10th anniversary. At 5 years, we couldn't afford to go and we had two kids 4 and under. Now we are approaching 10 years and I don't know if the kids could handle us being gone for a week.

We are looking at places to stay, attractions we want to see, and starting the beginning of the planning process for the trip. Janea is wanting to go...since we will be going to the beach. At the same time we have never taken a family vacation to anywhere. So my question is should we just take a family vacation this June and then in a few years when they are much older plan an extended second honeymoon trip or should we just try and take one this year. Parenting is such a challenge. Dan is worried if we take the kids that I will feel jipped out of getting to see all the stuff I want to see. I am worried about how the kids will take us going for at least a week once you count in travel times.

Marriage is important and getting that time to reconnect with your spouse is so important. Parenting is important and so is building family memories.

Too Busy....

So my kids have been singing this song all week..."Too Busy, Too Busy, Are you to busy for Jesus? Too Busy, too busy are you to busy for Jesus to live in your heart?"

This has really made me start thinking about life and am I too busy?

Give me your thoughts? Are you too busy? I know I sometimes push God to the side and focus on less important things!

Questions...

Why is it that when you have had a decent day your kids go nuts when you get home from work?

Why is it that Janea always spills something that stains on her clothes?

Why is it that little kids can't decide why they are unhappy or mad but they can drive you crazy as they do it?

Why is it that the relatives from Dan's side of the family can sit and talk about the same things over and over and over and it never changes?

Why you may ask am I asking these questions? Well, it's either ask the questions or bang my head against the wall for an hour! Either way neither brings me any answers!

What was I thinking?

I challenged my students to read for the month of April and I would treat them to a day out at the movies. They have decided that we want to see Shrek the Third this Friday! That means I have to find out how to get them there for the movie! I think I am crazy!