My Sweet Boy

My sister came to visit this weekend for Easter.  The kiddos and I went over to Grandma's house a couple of times this weekend and we took pictures of the baby...such a sweet boy!

Trying to Deal

I'm trying to deal with my feelings toward my family.

I'm tired and yet I don't get to nap...others' nap but not me...so I am trying to be encouraging towards the ones sleeping and not be bitter.

I get hungry but I am the only one who really makes food for people...unless other's bring a home cooked meal I have to suck it up and cook something if I want to eat!  It isn't fair but it is life and I am grateful to have food to prepare and eat.

I'm trying to be understanding and kind but I want to be selfish and make others take care of me...and I can't force them to do that and so I am trying to deal with it all...this too shall pass and life will get easier again.  I do feel better than I did even a few days ago and I will continue to feel better so this too shall pass and I will learn how to deal with it all.

The Little Things

I'm finding little things matter more when you have a newborn.  Here are some little things that have made my week...

1.  Meals prepared by church friends...not having to cook is a blessing.

2.  SHOWERS...make one tired mama feel somewhat human again.

3.  Cute baby stuff...makes the tiredness kinda melt away.

4.  Big kids who help...entertaining the baby is easier with 2 helpers!

5.  5-10 minutes getting to recharge my batteries reading a book or something...refreshes the spirit!

6.  Daddy babysitting...Dan watched the baby on Tuesday so that the big kids and I could go to Culver's night for Jaron's school...they survived, we had fun...a win win situation!

The Bilirubin Diaries

Bilirubin (formerly referred to as hematoidin) is the yellow breakdown product of normal heme catabolism. Heme is found in hemoglobin, a principal component of red blood cells. Bilirubin is excreted in bile and urine, and elevated levels may indicate certain diseases. It is responsible for the yellow color of bruises, urine (via its reduced breakdown product, urobilin), and the yellow discoloration in jaundice.


Bilirubin...the stuff that causes Jaundice has been rampant in our little newborn.

Tuesday April 12...Jayden has a bilirubin level of 9.6 as we leave the hospital this is considered borderline but it is relatively low so I wasn't really worried.  Our hospital pediatrician recommends that he be seen by our family doctor by Friday.

Thursday April 14th..Jayden is looking a little orange and my mom comments that I might want to get that checked out...I agree and schedule an appointment for the next morning...

Friday April 15th...Jayden is looking mighty orange.  My mom and I take him to the doctor and he recommends a bilirubin test so after heading to the hospital lab we get done and take him home.  The doctor's office calls and tells me that his number is now double...18.2  and he is concerned and thinks we need to be seen at Children's Mercy for a second opinion.  I'm a little panicked at this point...and between my mom and I and Dan we get him to Children's Mercy.  They decide to admit him to have some intense photo therapy...so that began one of the longest nights that I have experienced in my kids lives.

At 7:00 Dan and I left to grab dinner...Jayden started out in the isolette unit and was doing well so we felt comfortable leaving and I was STARVING and I could not stomach the thought of hospital food...we returned by 8:00 where the nurse let us know that Jayden was hungry and fussy...so I nursed him and we got him back in to the isolette as he was only able to come out for half hour periods every 2 hours...I am exhausted at this point and Dan has me lay down on the bed in the room and he takes a shift....Jayden really isn't liking the light box at this point and is squirming, crying and kicking...so either Dan or I had to take turns holding in a binky and rubbing his back, head or feet to help him remain calm...we go through 2 hours of this and feed him again...then the nurse comes to do a bilirubin level on him.  His level is now 16.5  down almost a full 2 points in 3 hours.

The doctor comes in a little later and we were basically told that we had over reacted and that Jayden would be fine and that it's normal and no big deal...well we were simply following the advise of medical professionals and we would not have done the hospital if it hadn't been recommended...well, she tells us we can go home if we want or stay...it's up to us...we decide to head home and around 12:30 we finally get home.

Saturday April 16th...Dan rigs up some plant lights and we sit under them for the entire day...keeping Jayden in the "sunshine"  by the end of the day his skin is looking much better...and we are encouraged by his progress.

Sunday April 17th...We don't go to church and spend the morning sitting under lights...the afternoon is spent cleaning house, mowing the lawn and other such projects.

Monday April 18th...first day for mom to be in charge of car duty...Baby has appointment with doctor at 11.  Doctor is encouraged by the way his skin looks and has us do another bilirubin test at the lab...and Praise God his level is now 13.5 and dropping!  So it looks like the saga of the bilirubin will soon be over!

We are thankful for modern medicine and that our baby will be okay!

Things I Had Forgotten

Since we have not had an infant in the house since Jaron was a baby I had forgotten what life with a newborn is like.

I forgot what it feels like to be so tired.  We've been home only 2 nights and already I feel like I will not really sleep again.  I forgot what it feels like to get up with someone in the middle of the night.

I forgot how tiring a newborn can be...they don't really do anything but they are exhausting...I think it's from the nursing and trying to establish a pattern.

I forgot how much your body changes and how hard it works to get a baby out...I forgot that it takes weeks to get your strength completely back.

I forgot how happy a little one can make you.  The sweetness of a baby and just the wonder that you helped to bring this little one into the world.  I forgot how the world seems to stop just because you have had a baby.

I've forgotten a lot but I am remembering and enjoying this new little person.  I'm really tired and very thankful for the fact that my parents have been able to help us out!  Dan's already back to work so I am home with the baby by myself but I am not as overwhelmed as I was when Janea and Jaron were little.  So it's a good thing...Jayden is doing well and we are learning how to be a family of 5!

Wordless Wednesday

The Waiting Game

We are playing the waiting game right now.

Baby could come at anytime.  Or Baby could wait until later...and since we don't know what day it will be it's challenging right now to wait.

I'm having contractions daily...some are really big and painful and regular but then they stop.  I don't want to be a wimp and go to the doctor to early but I am getting frustrated at the same time.

When I was pregnant with Janea I didn't know what to expect and my water broke first.

With Jaron I went into labor earlier than planned and while surprised I had a feeling he was coming.

This baby...I'm clueless...I think he's coming and then I am like nope...I don't know...and since the big kids were early at 37 (Jaron) weeks and 38 (Janea) weeks I have never gone to my due date so I am like..okay here I am same time as the other two...you can come!  He isn't listening very well so far.   I tell him it's okay to come, Daddy has told him, Jaron has told him, Janea won't talk to my stomach but she has even said it outloud...we are ready for him to come.

So we wait...and wait...and wait...

I HATE WAITING!

Showers of Blessings

Note: pictures will be added later...the camera is packed in the hospital bag and I am not unpacking it and forgetting it if I go into labor!

My church was so generous and had a lovely baby shower for me last Thursday night. We had given away or gotten rid of most if not all of our baby stuff in the past 4-5 years as we had thought that we were done with having babies. Well, surprise surprise...here we are pregnant with basically nothing left. I had a few odds and ends but nothing substantial. The church normally only has showers for first babies but since I was starting over they had one for me. The ladies of my church are such an encouragement. Now baby has towels, sheets, blankets, bowls, spoons and quite a few cute little outfits. We were also blessed with gift cards and such and that has been a blessing with getting a crib mattress and other odds and ends that you don't think about registering for!

Dan's work also had a shower for him! He called me Friday on his way home from work and said that they had a shower for him! We received lots of diapers and wipes...I'm well stocked up on newborn size and size 1! Some cute clothes and two cute teddy bears. They also gave us a few gift cards and all the extra help has been a blessing.

We are feeling loved and supported by friends and coworkers and are ready to meet this little person. I'm hoping he comes this week...I'm much more uncomfortable and so ready to meet our little guy! Thank you to everyone who help to make us feel so loved and we are totally blown away by your generosity!

Pictures from Our Life - Kitchen Stuff

Dan asked Janea to get him a cup of tea an put 2 bags of Lemon Zinger in a cup with water...she did so and emptied the bags into the water....Oops...here's the cup of tea that daddy didn't drink! Later...that evening Janea then tried to help out by melting some cheese for us to dip some yummy chips in~! She microwaved it for too long creating a cheese donut...it tasted good just wasn't good for dipping!

Dan discovered a bag of Red potatoes that had Sprouted in the pantry...they looked so cool we had to take a picture!